Jesse Hassenger
rockmarooned
Contributor, The A.V. Club. I also write fiction, edit textbooks, and help run SportsAlcohol.com, a pop culture blog and podcast. Star Wars prequels forever!
9/10/19
4:15 PM
2

Yeah, this was a pretty shitty space opera, how come you never mention that they don't have any space fighting or laser battles in your review?!?!

9/10/19
6:28 AM
12

There’s a certain section of the commentariat who seem to take extreme umbrage to the fact movies may reflect societal issues and that critics might speak on that

9/9/19
4:09 PM
9

That’s the reference! (But I was sincere about wanting to see the movie)

9/9/19
3:34 PM
6

The AVClub prides itself on being “progressively relevant”? It writes about pop culture. It is relevant to to extent that pop culture is relevant. I read it everyday, so I suppose it’s relevant to me.

9/9/19
2:57 PM
31

I was informed by the best minds of various comment sections that this movie would be an hour of a half of Cardi B kicking a man in the balls and shouting “I WON’T GET IN TROUBLE FOR THIS! I AM BENEFITING FROM DOUBLE STANDARDS TO SPITE YOU PERSONALLY!”

9/8/19
10:09 PM
28

Guess what, people in the 30s didn’t talk like noir archetypes either, it’s always been a narrative conceit.

9/6/19
4:21 PM
5

Alas, the only footage I have of you is what I’ve shot while peeping in your windows.

9/6/19
4:11 PM
19

Hey All! I’m the maker of this film. For years I’ve been a commenter here at the Club, and the Avocaado, and it’s an incredible feeling to be contributing content to this site. My film wouldn’t exist without the encouragement and joy this site gives me. It belongs to all of you.

9/5/19
2:28 PM
187

Hey all. Just wanted to drop in here and give a very sincere thank you to everyone who’s read the piece and everyone who’s commented below. I had to kind of talk myself into writing this, for a number of reasons, but I’m glad I did, and I’m deeply moved by the responses here—by those of you sharing your own

8/28/19
3:55 PM
69

I find it amusing that you think a review where I suggest you’d be better off playing with your own asshole for an hour and a half to be “too nice.” Thanks though! I’m a ray of goddamn sunshine!!!!!

8/26/19
5:43 PM
25

Based on what we saw of Luke’s training, “she’s had Force abilities for two weeks” means she’s in the advanced class.

8/24/19
5:16 PM
1

I thought the same thing, but then said to myself, “There’s no way they’d do that for this movie.”  

8/24/19
6:09 AM
2

It baffles me how many people are mad about how you wrote the article, instead of actually offering any kind of opinion of their own about the show. Instead of talking about the show, it’d be more interesting to talk about the article about the show, said no one ever.

8/21/19
12:17 PM
3

It’s not every day you see a mixed metaphor where each part is nonsensical in itself. But then someone implies that when you “paint with a broad brush” the brush is also “heavy,” and when you use this broad/heavy brush, it creates a “storm.”

8/20/19
6:09 PM
10

This is just You’re Next* but with ritual murder, which is not unacceptable, but Samara Weaving is what’s pushing this over the top for me. She’s fantastic, even when the film she’s in has no idea what to do with her (fuck you, The Babysitter).

8/20/19
8:55 AM
2

I like the sound of that. Might have to actually give this one a try. I shy away from horror and gore most of the time, but can oddly tolerate it in the tone of the Ice Cream trilogy or Cabin in the Woods. I think it’s the suspense being replaced by comedy beats or sudden violence. I hate the waiting.