Early this morning, we conducted a brief interview with James Franco's ass. Hard-hitting stuff. But what do his other parts have to say? One commenter got the press release.

The perpetually up-and-coming actress gets another shot at the big leagues. Also today: Showtime wisely renews their best show, Jennifer Coolidge gets grunt work, and MTV says goodbye to some friends.

This morning on bad idea ball pit Fox & Friends, the melting Crisco sculpture known as Gretchen Carlson got outraged over a new program that requires "translation assistance" for the non-English speaking parents of Cleveland public school students. Boy was she mad!

On last night's episode of the Ladies of the Canyon we dealt with more nuclear fallout, everyone still reeling from the tragedy of Game Night and trying to figure out where their now-blasted lives would go from here.

Today we heard a funny/sorta creepy story about a woman who got a sexy note from a TSA agent who found her vibrator. Yay!/Yikes! Any other fun, less potentially unsettling, TSA stories? Why yes.

Everyone's favorite fantasist has gone and made a stealth film. Also today: Melanie Griffith gets a new gig, so does Jenna Elfman, and E! embarks on a terrible new journey.

This morning the clown-wigged sea snakes of Fox & Friends shifted from Christmas to Halloween, discussing some school principals who are waging war on school-time Halloween festivities. The sad outrage of it all!

Here's a trailer for In the Land of Blood & Honey, a Bosnian War-set drama that marks the writing and directorial debut of world's most famous lips-haver, Angelina Jolie.

A huge record-setting debut for the third movie in the Paranormal Activity franchise means that Halloween is upon us. Also today: The robots continue to fight on, Footloose keeps dancing, and the Musketeers meet their match.

Today we heard the exciting news that Barack Obama is writing personal checks to people! Terrific, we're all rich! And just what might we expect the president to say to us in his money-giving letter? One commenter knows.

As Halloween approaches, we've got some scary movies coming out. This weekend you can see some more video camera ghosts, a creepy cult, and the collapse of the Western world's economy. That's the scariest of all!

The first feature film from young writer/director Sean Durkin is certainly a stylistically assured debut — mysterious, moody, unbearably tense in parts — but all the style can't shroud the fact that there isn't much substance.

Today we bemoaned the fact that food makers want the produce section to become nothing more than elaborate display cases for processed junk. That is bad because fresh fruits and vegetables are good. Or are they? One commenter says no.

It is, it really is! Also today: Matt Damon makes more plans to head behind the camera, a recent literary hit goes to TV, and something about Dallas.

Yesterday Maroon 5 singer Adam Levine sent out a Tweet saying "Dear Fox News, don't play our music on your evil fucking channel ever again. Thank you." Strong words! And now, finally, Fox News has maturely responded.

Today we expressed some concern that Mitt Romney might explode. He just seems a little wound-up. So what can his handlers do to fix this problem? One commenter had some suggestions.

Once a movie actress, she's now doing TV. Also today: Americans can't make anything original, French Stewart has been located, and How to Be a Gentleman has been put out to stud.

Another day, another bit of time spent with the dilapidated horseshoe crabs over at Fox & Friends. Once again they were discussing this curious thing called Occupy Wall Street and today they focused on how these weirdos feed themselves.

Today we heard the news that some of Barack Obama's speech-making equipment was stolen. Uh oh. Who originally reported the crime? Well, one commenter got a transcript of the 911 call.

Not really, she's just going to be in a movie where that happens. Also today: Judy Greer gets another chance, so does Chord Overstreet, and Selena Gomez is a hot mess.