When Jezebel EIC Anna proposed interviewing beauty pageant coach Cy Frakes (of TLC's new show King of the Crown), I figured I'd seek answers to my burning pageant-related questions. So I did. And it was fine. Until it wasn't.

This past weekend, New York City played host to the CFA-IAMS Cat Championship, where felines from all four corners of the country were judged on aesthetics and athletics. We sent FourFour's Rich Juzwiak - Pot Psychologist, beloved pop culture chronicler and father to the feline internet sensation named Winston - to…