Storytelling is conservative science. Only most of the stories come from one book in particular. Called 'genesis'.

Wait, so in that article, he says that men are the strength, and women are the nurturers. But what is more nurturing than feeding your family, aka "breadwinning"? By his logic, men should be staying at home to protect the young while the women go out into the world to obtain the things necessary for a nurturing…

That right there is an impressively poor interpretation of the word "science".

Hipsters? I think not.

Uh. No.

Now I know you're Seatosky.

Here's a heads-up: You might want to actually read the article before shitting yourself about it.

So true. I have pretty much resigned myself to a full day of agony every time I have a hangover, agony which will only dissipate after 8 hours of sleep after the full the day of hangover. Also, I can't seem to tell what will give me a hangover these days — will it be two large glasses of wine? Four beers? One measly…

Turns out, you're not actually all that nice of a guy...

One can act in a chivalrous manner and still be a dick nobody wants in their life.

So disagree. My current boyfriend, who is perfect for me in every way, never played those stupid games with me. We realized we liked each other, started dating immediately, and have talked about everything we could think of to talk about since day one. That's some bad advice right there. The correct advice is, don't…

Well men better step their game up, b/c I'm charming as fuck. And have a black belt in small talk.

Well played, dude. They're actually buying that you're serious. Rubes, all of them.

I get the sense you're scared of women.

Oh hun. I can't even.

this is so obvious it almost seems like satire.

Ignore him, people. Just take deep breaths, look at this kitten, and go on with your day.

Prone to comments such as, "I'll be right back" and "I'm sure it's just the wind".

"Flat Top Boogie" is my new favorite phrase.

Fuck, yes. When the ex-husband and I were house hunting, we prayed for a house we otherwise couldn't afford whose value had been severely diminished by the gristly atrocities that had been committed there. Preferably with new countertops.