Yet another reason not to learn life lessons from television. That NEVER happens on tv shows. Usually the minimally muscled tv detectives AND bad buys AND regular joes are able to shoot and or shoulder their way into whatever apartment they're trying to enter. I'm glad that whoever lives behind that door (or whoever…

Water is wet. Philadelphia is a fucking hole. The Wilpons are the worst.

Seriously, that line was like shooting fish in a barrel.

As counterintuitive as it may seem, I wish that Michele Bachmann always had microphones on her, to catch more of her stupid ramblings. Even her carefully crafted soundbites are nuts, but the fun really starts when she goes off-message and starts ad-libbing. More Bachmann, I say! If people keep reelecting her after…

That one having money is a case of god giving with both hands. Good grief! Sorry Dev, but you never had a chance.

Hey, that's a super cute look! It also looks like an intentional style, not a fix-it job. Excellent momming!

One of my friends really is. Between The Cosby Show and Bill Cosby's comedy, he was a big fan. It has really kind of wrecked him that somebody whose career and (purported) values he tried to emulate has turned out to be such a shit stain.

Sorry, I meant how good it looks on Geena Davis. But being a veteran dress-tryer-on, I can say that for such a simple look, I have yet to find its equal in a store. Believe me, I have no idea where to buy that dress, because if I did, I would already own it in every color. Dresses that I like that have sleeves are…

It's a really great dress, and looks simple while pulling off a rather difficult look to achieve.

Join the Jezebelle's Book Club on Goodreads. It's comprised of Jezzies and other Gawker media fans/refugees. Americanah was definitely the selection one month.

No, leaving your comment was more useful, because it demonstrably helped somebody (me) do something (laugh).

Welcome! Even though the story ended up not being true, it cracked me up enough that it stuck in my head. It's the first thing that comes to mind when some annoying celebrity begs for prayers/attention.

No. Here's what it means.

I thought you had to stop flying after you're 7 months pregnant. One of my pregnant friends had to drive 7 hours to get to another friend's wedding, because no airline would sell her a plane ticket. If the wedding had been one week earlier, she would have been okay, but she'd crossed some magic line and was no longer…

I am never going to let it go. It's also the only reason I still know who Omarion is/was.

But what about the lisp...?

No wedding I have ever seen or attended has made elopement seem any less attractive to me. I am happy that my friends and relatives have enjoyed their weddings (well, some of them, anyway), but a ceremony and reception has never seemed like a good use of my time or money.

But that was the only part I would have wanted to see. Whatever. We'll always have this gif

#PrayforOmarion

I believe that it originated on Martin, with the character Shanaynay (Martin Lawrence in drag). She was pretty much every stereotype of the loud, vulgar, seemingly poorly educated, tacky black woman and that was her go-to phrase whenever a woman did something she liked (usually something that made a man look stupid).…