The internet is a force multiplier for stupidity. 40 years ago, stupid people had to subscribe to newsletters, which if they were stupid enough would be mimeographed (mmm, nothing like the smell of freshly printed dittos) instead of xerographically copied. Now? Global networks of imbeciles.

“And we’ll have their favorite food, which I understand is called a Royale with Cheese.”

Or the Madlib theory when they [verb] a bunch of [plural noun] all [preposition] a [place.]

“revealed no further neurological damage.”

...

Real heads know Reese’s Easter eggs have the perfect peanut butter to chocolate ratio.

Classic Rando!

That’s a bullshit way to break up a no-hitter. 

I can’t remember anything from High School French class but have immediate recall if the question is ‘which Vikings RB was caught in the airport with a fake penis’.

Even a German in Tokyo knows it’s best to distance oneself from claiming the Orioles.

Jesus, man. This is harrowing. Like everyone else in the comments, I’m glad things didn’t go differently.

On the one hand, I probably store and publish a higher volume of my hate mail than anyone. And on the other hand, I suck extremely hard and am a pile of shit.

I don’t get why you guys keep writing about Liz Mair. Who the fuck cares about some D-list “political operative”? Who reads fucking Deadspin that cares?

Yet another reason to hate Illinois Nazis.

the list of players attending sounds about white

I wonder how nervous he was that Omarosa would just show up and record a bunch of conversations but he wouldn’t be able to pick her out of the crowd.