• Portland just unveiled a new prison. Pink stucco, glass tiles, pastel colors, vaulted ceilings: apparently it was designed with feng shui in mind. So if you're planning to commit a crime this weekend, we suggest doing it in Portland and not in NYC. Tickets are just $297! [LA Times]
• If you do stay in NYC this…
Trader Joe's has been open for about eight hours now and since you're probably sitting in front of your computer just dying to get out of work so you can fight with half of New York City for overpriced produce, we thought we'd help you out with a look at what you can expect when you show up this afternoon:
Why are New York's drug delivery services so... uncreative? In California, the DEA just busted a bunch of dealers who had been distributing a clever line of Marijuana-infused candy bars and beverages. The brands available for purchase: Toka-Cola, Pot Tarts, Puff-A-Mint Pattie, Stoney Ranchers, Munchy Way, and…
And you thought Google Maps were only being used to stalk celebrities. Turns out you can use theem to get completely shit-faced, too. Thanks to the alcoholics at New York On Tap, you can now use maps to locate bars by address, neighborhood or subway stop. (Looks like they have a way to go before they have every…
It seems all is not well at Crobar, the insufferable megaclub in Chelsea.
This email, which nightlife empress Amy Sacco sent to a small group of her club-hopping friends, landed in our inbox this morning. We should probably mention that while we know the email is for real, we have no confirmation that the events it…
Publicist Lizzie Grubman is getting married tomorrow to Chris Stern (no relation, we assure you). And while we weren't lucky enough to score an invite to the big fete at the "undisclosed location," we did want to wish her the very best on this special occasion. Perhaps you'll join us in this video tribute?
• Following in Mel Gibson's footsteps, Vin Diesel says he'd really, really love to do a three-part epic based on the life of Hannibal. Featuring men in togas and sandals. In the ancient language of Punic. This is possibly the most ridiculous thing to have ever come out of Vin's mouth — aside from the time he went on…
We're hearing reports of major crowds at the new Trader Joe's, which opened this morning in Union Square. It seems the people normally accustomed to nibbling on organic lettuce at Whole Foods have taken their act an entire block to the east where very festive green and white helium balloons have been inflated for the…
When Attorney General Eliot Spitzer isn't up to the usual (aspiring for greater political power, taking on the likes of AIG, H&R Block, Dick Grasso, and the Irish-American community), he's doing good, honest work educating our youth. To wit: the AG has an official web site for children, which isn't anything we would…
Ms. Coen is off "endangering the lives of celebrities"; I've agreed to step in and help Mr. Oxfeld insure you're not too miserably bored at work today. I thought I'd start off with the image that shook me to my core when I turned on my computer this morning. Yes, the tattoo above is supposed to look like Tori…
