A+ headline.

this is probably not meant to be my main takeaway here, but “Kirsten Griffith VanderYacht” absolutely sounds like a fake name you’d make up when you want to invent a character who sounds like landed gentry and snooty and probably english or at the very least from new england and they wear a sweater around their…

i would genuinely love to hear that hailee steinfeld song sung by selena gomez, that would absolutely be a bop from sg. it was p lame coming from hailee, though. 

yes the hat is Very Good and i can only assume the unsure looks on these women’s faces is due to the terrifying mannequin head, but that once they got over her soulless stare they waltzed in and bought the Very Good hat.

Democrats want Elizabeth Warren for vice president. Surely many would also rather her be the actual president, though.

why do all public statements that don’t come from publicists have the most mysterious punctuation situations? spaces between the final word in a sentence and its punctuation, odd sentence fragments that don’t articulate a whole thought, hit-or-miss on using apostrophes in contractions, extra hit-or-miss in use of…

i am obsessed with the dancing plague of 1518. it is the one historical event that i want to know about more than any other. if the legends are true and i get to ask one question when i die, it’s going to be “what the fuck was that about.” i want to know about this more than what was actually going on during the salem…

(five if you count Zayn Malik’s departure as the initial site of fracturing)

does mel have the lady version of bieber hair?????

didn't ask!

i was p bored throughout. there were some funny moments but lately it’s seemed like pixar’s goal is to hit everyone in the feels instead of make a fun movie. the internet wept over the intro to up and they were like “oh you liked that? we can beat that” and it really seems like they lost their whimsy. 

alllllllllll the belly rubs :)

she's the BEST even though she doesn't help clean, i'll let her off the hook

I DID only i just adopted her right away and her name is MARGO! and she is part dog, part bat, part cinnamon roll, and she has the most soulful eyes and she is the fastest zoomer ever and we are VERY BEST FRIENDS and i genuinely don’t know how i would be handling the world right now without her. i suspect poorly.…

i mean, FL waited until they could get every spring break penny they could, and then shut down. like i 100% believe that was a conscious decision. they didn’t have to, so they just waited to get that bag and then they'll do the thing. 

how does one get to be a “loyal follower” of an influencer? like...i enjoy celebrity gossip from time to time, but i’m not a loyal follower of anyone* who’s actually famous. i can’t imagine caring this hard about someone whose real-life, full-time job is “fake perfect on instagram.”

i’m not a follower of the kardash clan, they can do what they want but it just doesn’t interest me in the slightest. however.

oooh, was it really that cool that you went two years in a row? my partner and i are on a huuuuuge (currently paused) "visit every national park" campaign and yellowstone is a top 5 for both of us. 

WILL THEY, though?? will they?

excuse me. just to clarify. the joke is...that this grown, adult human...licks a toilet seat. in an airplane. and that is the prank they're playing on humanity? do they know...that they had to lick an airplane toilet seat to do this prank? and that it's on the internet so when their 15 minutes are done and they need…