Jeebus, I know how you feel. It’s so bizarre how much something can rip out your soul after you have kids. Torchwood: Children of Earth did it for me. I rewatched it after both my daughters were born. Even though I knew everything that transpired, it hit me in the gut so hard on that later viewing.

I thought they were still from the ending of Evil Dead 2. No?

The “scheduling issues” excuse is especially unconvincing when, as we all know, time is just a flat circle.

Point out another media company that makes their local stations read the same forced talking points, and your point will be taken seriously.

“Thick skin bolstered by garish tattoos”

And when Sears and Kmart go under, I smell a comeback for Service Merchandise.

Noted conservative, free speech advocate Ben Shapiro was prepared to comment, until he realized Hannibal Burress was a scary black man, at which point he clutched his purse tightly and proceeded to cross the street.

Buress should have responded by nailing 95 of his best jokes to the theater door.

“...Cap’s beard, Black Widow...”

Yeah, it’s almost as if this site is being written about pop culture and the various events that occur therein.

Who is stopping you from calling it Mother’s Day?

CAL EE FOR NEE UH

AND STAY OUT!

“Portlandia” was liberals making fun of themselves, quite effectively. It’s similar to how there was really no good conservative humor directed at Obama. They had 8 years, and it always was just “Obama’s black, imagine if he went to the White House in a pimp outfit?”

It was hilarious when they ran out of the cabin, handcuffed together, with the bad guys on their heels, run a little while, then calmly stop and chat with Skinner for ten minutes, while the bad guys are shouting and searching, just past the trees, never noticing the car driving out.

I don’t know about you guys, but I miss that President something fierce. You may not have always agreed with him, but he comported himself well on the world’s stage and always the smartest guy in the room.

Why did I click this?

[Does some cursory Googling, gasps.]

Johnny Carson once came back from a vacation with a (neatly trimmed) beard, and public response was overwhelmingly negative. And now he’s dead.

confirming the “show” won’t just find Letterman posing riddles to the drifters he’s tied up in his cabin.