I’ve heard more convincing script reading from ISIS captives.

Remember that time Donald Trump was accused of raping his wife? Jezebel remembers.

Yeah, this “apology” is bullshite. An apology does not include a “Yeah BUT so and so did this.” A sincere apology is a form of humbling yourself, and not bringing up anyone else’s actions.

Hear that, ladies? This is just a big distraction from the IMPORTANT issues. Women wanting respect, wanting to not be grabbed by the pussy at work? What a bunch of whiners. Get your panties out of bunches and get back to making me feel big. Huge!

Look, how else is a man supposed to compliment his daughter when the only compliments he knows how to give any woman are that he finds her attractive enough to have sex with?

It’s so luxurious, you wouldn’t believe what people are saying about this stocking cap, I sent the best people to find my cap, they tell me this is the longest one anywhere, anywhere in the world you can’t find a better one than this, I was in China and other Asia and I see the stocking caps they have there, everyone…

Did Crooked Hillary help disgusting (check out sex tape and past) Alicia M become a U.S. citizen so she could use her in the debate?

I love this because I imagine that he was just tossing and turning in bed seething about this and then finally leaped up, cast aside his absurdly long stocking cap, and tweeted this out before collapsing back into bed.

I’m 100% sure Kellyanne Conway did her level best to drill into his head how devastating the misogyny is (those ads are killing him), but it just didn’t register. He doesn’t seem to understand that it’s a problem for women, who are more than half of voters, as well as thinking men, or those with daughters and…

I’m still stunned from the moment Trump doubled down on the concept of turning our armed forces into global mercenaries “we defend them? Let them pay for it” to the point that Hillary felt the need to turn to the camera and reassure other countries that no, contrary to what Orange Cheeto just said, the US will uphold…

Many people are saying Trump is probably addicted to uppers. Educated people, great people. You tell me.

I will never understand racist white people’s obsession with Chicago.

It’s hilarious that Trump accused Hillary for ‘not having stamina’, while he couldn’t stand for 60 minutes of a debate without panting, sweating, and sniffling, while she stood there smiling, fresh as a daisy.

It’s as if Trump thinks that a private conversation with Hannity supersedes what he said on the record in the media.

It’s unbelievable how protected these murderers are.

Rage stroke. RAGE. STROKE. Women contain multitudes. We are not a monolith. We are individual people with individual needs and preferences. What does this one want? Not the same shit as the lady in the cubical next to me, that’s what. Just like everyone else.

She could’ve avoided the whole thing by simply adding ‘some of them, I assume, are good people’ at the end of her original speech.

I will never be over the fact that SVU did an episode based loosely on Anthony Weiner, in which the offending politician used “Enrique Trouble” for his “Carlos Danger” alter-ego.

At some point it’s a mental illness thing. There’s clearly something wrong with him and he apparently can’t help himself.

It has been said before (and often here on Kinja) but can you imagine the GOP’s thunderous outrage if someone from Hillary’s camp spoke so openly about killing Dicknuts Donald?