*Toilet flush*

20,000 Accusations Swept Under the Rug

That gopher would have been no match for a greased up Scotsman.

He's partial to The Master of Killers solo phonograph.

Didn't W promise us all $20 if he won. The Supreme Court really wanted their $20.

Marco Rubio immediately listened to "The Dog Shit" because Old Dastardly Fellow is his favorite Wu Tang member.

He meant that those cheeseburgers weren't safe from sexual assault.

I'd only see that if I could do so anonymously.

There are cheaper ways to guarantee your unfuckability.

It really got the soul pole going.

The script actually called for a magnifying glass. The writers really had no respect for Larry Wilcox.

They let Ponch cover himself up with a beach ball. They only gave poor John a shuttlecock.

However, they will have the budget for Mitt Romney's cover of Who Let the Dog's Out.

[FARTS]

A fleshy gun that shoots kidney stone bullets that are dispensed from a port in our hero's torso.

*Italian man smashes garbage can through the window of a soul food restaurant. Super Mario is choked to death by the police.*

My participant trophy speaks otherwise.

*Angrily tweets BikeKike's home address*

Jergen's Original or GTFO!

I would be Donald Trump then.