You don’t have to tell me. Every time I see Tom Cruise, I think: “Yep, that’s a real bottom right there.”

I’d watch what I say about Barkley. You know what he’s capable of...

If my sadness lasts more than 4 hours, I’ll consult a physician.

Durant heard that Jackson was winning the argument so he’s on his side now.

Clayton, for god’s sake do not show Eraserhead to the future mom either!

Ok, ok. We get it. You’re still into a thing that should’ve been over by the late 90's, you feel the FBI is out to get you & your leaders, and you’re probably sticky to the touch. But why did you have to schedule your rally the same weekend as the Juggalos?

“Get me Javier Bardem’s American non-union equivalent!”

rapidly devolves into a violent nightmare of cannibalism, cultism, and genocide, gruesomely parodying the narrative of Christianity, from Genesis to the gospels.

I do not buy them as a couple at all. Jennifer Lawrence is far too old to be a plausible love interest for Javier Bardem.

Schindler’s Pissed!

I want a sequel to Schindler’s List that consists entirely of Oscar Schindler throat-punching Nazis. 

Pitch Perfect: Pitch, Be Humble

Pitch Perfect: Pitches in Heat

Reclaimed my old account. Then got told I need to sign in through one of the 3 services I don’t have.

“Coach, we really have a chance to bruise their backs and genitals here..”

Given that he’s a Republican in 2017, is anybody really surprised that Cruz’s kink is people standing quietly on the sidelines and playing with themselves?

Zack Snyder made a short film? Let me guess, 110 minutes?

Politics Corner - DACA Decision Deferred edition. While the rumored announcement didn’t happen today (despite Trump saying this morning ‘maybe today, maybe after the weekend’) a lot of major DACA news did occur. First off, my gut tells me that the reason Trump didn’t make an announcement today is that he hasn’t made…

The AV Club