Taylor Swiftboat Veterans for Truth

Well, hot dog. I know this means next to zero coming in the form of anonymous text on a glowing screen, but since you're one step ahead of me (got the old self-hatred thing in spades over her as well), I have to say: you're awesome!

Seconded on the Warlock. I got a bottle a few weeks ago and it was awesome.

Kick ass. I've been meaning to go back to school for the past few years, but given the expense of it and the fact that I have a pretty well-paying job right now, I just haven't been able to pull the trigger. And that's even considering that I hate my job. Kudos to you for having the courage to do this.

Good old Jeremy Kalgreen, always telling it like it is.

Pass on that Escort. I owned that exact year once. I got it at a little over 100k miles and the transmission had already been replaced. Only got about 50k more before it went again.

I go the opposite way. I've never bought anything close to new, as they depreciate so much in value (unless you can get a really good deal). Helps that the last two cars I've bought have been Subarus, though. The body/chassis will go before anything engine-related.

Won't someone please think of the children!

'Let's toss it on over to Lou Bega, for a segment we like to call, Mamba Number 5.'

We need another Vietnam to thin out their ranks.

I doubt many people know, but the Esquire Network, which is a thing that exists, has Parks and Rec reruns. I think it's every Monday night or Tuesday night. They also have movie night on like Thursday, and the movies are pretty decent. Caught Bullitt a month or so ago.

I hated that 're-invents the sitcom' nonsense. There were a bunch of articles about that when Modern Family first started airing. It was like they forgot The Office existed years before, and that there was already a show that had the same format without the actual conceit of it being a documentary in Parks & Recreation…

Probably my least favorite of the three episodes so far, but I still enjoyed it. I really missed Maria Bamford and Jack McGee but the addition of Boring Larry was a good one. I would imagine that it saves USA money to not have all the characters in each EP, but since they're still credited (right?), aren't they still…

haha, i was trying to word it like 'it takes him a while to faint'. I meant it in the same way that one could describe him trying to run for a first down.

Every time I see that I have to watch the loop like 10 times. It's hypnotic.

There needs to be some Vince MacMahon strutting, too.

*makes out with a steadily fainting Eli Manning while the crowd goes NUTS*

It's gotta be on the bucket list. Or at least the Town Charter.

Here's a heart-warming, life-affirming video of Mr. Rude doing his thing:

It looks like he's watching his own vinegar strokes on the jumbotron. Basically like jacking off in front of a mirror with 80,000 people watching you.