There's something oddly soothing about watching Van Damme's mullet sway left and right in slow motion.

I don't know, man. People are weird.

Totally. Going in, I knew she was going to be in that water.

But in their own ways, aren't both Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson's characters both broken?

When I clicked on the article, I expected Rapaport to defend Trump, but when I discovered appears to be defending a guy who brutally beat his girlfriend, it was like some M. Night Shyamalan twist ending. I did not see that coming.

This looks dumb, but I'm trying too figure out if it is too dumb for me to watch or not dumb enough for me to watch?

I'm having trouble reading those quotes as anything other than ironic, because, what the hell?

It will be just one more tragedy if Shia LeBeouf somehow becomes the face of the Trump resistance.

Are you by chance referring to From a Compound Eye? That's a killer album.

Dude might want to slow down before he has a heart attack. At least lay off the Jose Cuervo a bit while on tour.

Start with the classic Guided by Voices albums, Bee Thousand, Alien Lanes, and Under the Bushes Under the Stars (my personal favorite). From there, everything by Boston Spaceships is worth your time (they only put out five albums). There are other great Guided by Voices albums and some stellar Robert Pollard solo…

I'm sure there's a cost/benefit analysis involved. If his crazy talk threatens to sink them, then I have no doubt, they'll abandon the S.S. Trump, but until then, they'll use him to pass whatever policies they can.

I wouldn't be surprised if after Republicans get some tax cuts out of him, they turn around and impeach the guy the moment they feel it is politically expedient.

Well, she can at least take solace in the fact that she's still America's sweetheart.

Maybe Bruce Willis can be the first actor who's technically alive to be replaced with his CGI equivalent. I'm sure Lucasfilms wouldn't mind loaning all that equipment to M. Night for a bit.

So how's your friend, Ben, doing these days?

Both Great Britain and the U.S. are victims of credulous voters buying into empty anti-globalization, populist rhetoric. But at least over here in the States we managed to get rid of Piers Morgan, so I think we're still one point ahead.

Huh? What is it?

They better cast the original Clyde, or no dice.

"You've gotta admit. I played this stinking country like a harp from Hell!"