I had to check the author’s name to see if this was one of those new “Hot Takes” articles...

If you like it, buy it, drive it. Fuck what anyone else thinks. #formerptcruiserowner

Tread lightly, my friend. Puns like that are likely to deflate your ego.

Signal flares are standard equipment in all Chinese SUVs sold in America. For calling for help when they inevitably break down.

13. Run a truck full of Coors from Texarkana to Atlanta in less than 28 hours.

Guess I should bring on one of those Starbucks cans.

Peele would be a great choice. But based on current trends, my advice to him is that if you’re gonna do it, just go ahead and quit Twitter now.

Don’t get hung up on one brand vs another. Every manufacturer makes some good tires and some not so good tires. They make tires to serve many different budgets and price points. Some are better than others in a particular type and not as good as others in another type.

Except when you can’t. In which case Hoosiers, bro.

If you want snow tires, get snow tires. That “M+S” marking means squat.

Let’s be honest. We need this everywhere.

How very true. I’ve said the same thing about boring car colors and had to eat those words recently. I was all set to go look at and buy a Fiesta ST in that wild green it comes in (came in?) last Saturday. That morning, I told my wife that it looks cool, but I wasn’t sure I could live with it every day. I was afraid…

For what it’s worth, I’m not a Republican. Blind faith in any political party is the mark of a naive fool. Politicians are a nasty, egotistical, self-important, and self-centered bunch. Anywhere you go. You want more recent list of dirty Democrats? How about Anthony Weiner. John Conyers. Al Franken. Eliot Spitzer. Kwam…

Democrats never lie.

No way it’s strong enough to do that.

That happened to me, too, on an NB Miata. Looked nice in pictures and they were asking almost $10k, so I figured it was clean albeit massively overpriced. Turned out to have the usual Ohio rocker panel rust. Pretty significant, too. But I figured, what the hell, let’s see what this guy will sell it for.

I’ve found the best way to unclog my tub is to haul my shop-vac into the bathroom, put the hose up to the drain, use a wet towel or my hand or something to make a nice seal around it... then let the sucking begin!

True statement, but the first place these and all Mazdas of this era rust is in the rear wheel wells and rockers. I see zero evidence of that. There’s either no rust, or it’s extremely well hidden. So I’m giving the seller the benefit of the doubt and saying that it’s a well cared-for example of a 1st gen MS3. Nice…

phones with bites taken out of the display.

And the award for Best Marvel Superhero Film goes to...