You can only hope to contai....

I don’t have a dog in this fight. That said, the only thing worse than the outcome of this play is the TV announcers talking about how it was really “just a clean, hard-nosed play”. Please. Shut. Up.

They're still shitty.

Burning Man was this week? I thought it was next week?

Because those two wines are neither soft nor relaxing. What is it you don’t understand?

I’ll set the over/under for ESPN’s existence at 6 years.

This is what happens when you let your hat play your game.

Statements like this prove he simply isn’t a liter.

Lucky for him it’s impossible to endo in the Tampa area and not land in the parking lot of a pain management clinic.

Look, I know conventional history will tell you that the OAPEC embargo is the reason for the oil crisis in the 70’s, but just look at those glorious flames...I think we know the real reason.

Tom Brady had Deadcast’s batteries sabotaged during Gawker Meltdown 2015.

[Shady] C’mon girl, just the tip.

Congrats on your latest bill passing, John. Please know I didn’t really mean it when I said getting captured by the enemy was actually your fault. Campaigns! Ya know?

Not since the Geitner story.

Tiger, choosing to speak with his apparel, showing us all what it’s like to be in the grays.

This is why the F1 regulations need to change. He didn’t even get past the first page of the guide because he was waiting on the beeps.

He traveled.

Only in baseball do you make up for missing a free pass to second base by inserting a phantom tip.

She wanted was sex on the beach, but ended up with a mind eraser.

Whoa. COTD is back. Complete with Gamecat’s beers and Skay’s ladies. This makes me happy.