Sure, when Justin Bieber goes outside naked and people see him it’s a violation of his privacy. When I go outside my front door in my underwear and people see me I’m “drunk and disorderly” and “no longer welcome at public parks.”

I saw Justin Bieber’s penis once, and it was terrible. ALSO IT WASN’T INTENTIONAL BUT NOW I AM STUCK WITH THE IMAGE IN MY HEAD FOR ALL OF MY REMAINING DAYS.

Honestly happy Odom seems to be doing well. This must be such a huge relief to his family.

I mean yeah, it is fucked up that those photos were taken in the first place but shut the fuck up about your dick. JUST STOP. PLEASE. MY EYES AND EARS ARE BLEEDING. I AM CHOKING ON MY OWN VOMIT.

I don’t know anything about this girl other then what Jezebel tells me. She is a baby. She seems to like ponytails. I think i saw her dressed as a cat? She licks donuts. She is a baby. She is sometimes carried like a baby. This is all i know.

Also, I bet there was some METHod to their madness.

Ugh I know. He acts as if no one ever warned him to stop knocking her up and get her treatment. Oh wait, they did? Well, the important thing is he forgives her.

Slightly off topic but the fact that Rusty Yates isn’t sitting in prison still angers me to no end. When he went on Oprah and said he “forgave her”, I about lost my mind.

How many times do we have to tell you that LSD and the internet don’t mix? Just go listen to Pink Floyd at the planetarium like normal people, jeez.

Pennsylvania cops...

“It’s important to keep every workplace drug-free. You don’t want people on drugs running the fryer at McDonalds.”

I can’t wait to go to a party at the Playboy Lean-to.

Is that first quote a translation issue because all I’m reading is:

Okay, seriously: what kind of FUCKING MONSTER puts GRAPE JELLY onto a perfectly innocent pizza? And for those of you who would mention pineapple, you are gross and wrong. Fight me.

I read every one of these - and there were definitely some gems - but I just flat-out can’t get over putting jelly on pizza, let alone asking for it like it’s not completely insane.

I’m willing to bet an entire classroom of people launching dildoes in self-defense would be quite a distraction for a gunman. That’s gotta buy a few critical split-seconds, no?

Then... I guess it’s a good thing that I’m neither talking about it nor aroused?

This. When people say they want you to be genuine, what they almost always mean is that they want you to make your fake, cheerful, socially-sanctioned self more believable. No one beyond your closest family and friends (and sometimes not even them!) cares about your real self.

Most people need to be chameleonic in their demeanor just to navigate everyday life. I have an acquaintance who I met and see in a setting where I’m almost always cheerful and outgoing. On occasions when I tell her that I’m feeling sad or angry, she basically tells me that she doesn’t believe I’m even capable of those…

The fact is - we live in a world where both at work and socially - inauthenticity is both demanded and exceedingly rewarded.

There’s no longer any stigma or even slight social penalty, so of course people are gonna be machiavellian fools - it’ pretty much perceived as weak or idealistic not to be. (Which sucks rocks…