Senorita...what a tune.

I would check those little fuckers’ phones randomly because I would only expect so much from their still developing brains despite all the warnings about the legal consequences of child pornography and the sex offender registry list (assuming there isn’t a loophole around retrieving deleted photos - I’m not a tech…

Numbers 1 and 2. I grew up on Cape Cod and I try very, very, very hard to tell myself that it’s worth the wait for summer. Also, Mr. PrincessMonsterTruck and I would have trouble finding legal work in our specialty areas (him securities and ERISA litigation and me business immigration for highly-skilled professionals,…

Yeah, I agree. I posted more or less as a joke because that poster is ridiculous. It’s a bit tactless when the wound still smarts but not so much with things that happened a long time ago.

I am kinda rooting for ISIS to kill him (and KellyAnn Conway/America’s Cunt). I’d donate to a kickstarter to make this happen.

Romance against the backdrop of tragedy you say?

How about when you and another person are in a public bathroom and it’s dead silent and you try to pee but can’t and the other person isn’t peeing either so you feel really uncomfortable and start making noise like rolling out 5 feet of toilet paper and opening and closing the tampon container?

It will never be enough of a tragedy. The 2nd Amendment crazies need a constitutional law class or some good old common sense to remind them that THEIR CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS ARE NOT ABSOLUTE.

But...but...but it’s a scholarship program! John Oliver fucking destroyed this.

Fucking iCloud man. Can I purge something from iTunes - like give it back to Apple? Some of the stuff I downloaded when I was a teenager can go now (Best of Both Worlds by Hannah Montana)?

Also, sometimes I think about the fact that I have the unasked for U2 album on my phone and it still pisses me off to this day.

What is it with society and the necessity of “Male Anger?” Can’t you just be, like, emotionally stable enough not to kick and scream when you don’t get your way? In DBT it’s called Radical Acceptance. My two cents explanation: Sometimes shit happens, sometimes you can’t control the shit that’s happening, accept that…

OMG THIS JUST MADE MY SHITTY YEAR!!! (seriously, in the past two months I spent 3 weeks in a psychiatric hospital (ER on my birthday no less), worked full time and went to law school in the evening, got behind on my schoolwork and nearly had a breakdown when the time came to take 3 exams and submit a 20 page paper…

That’s what I meant! Sorry for the confusion :)

Was anyone else a MAJOR tool who wore TWO polo shirts with popped collars? This, along with khakis and boat shoes, are the clothing of my people on Cape Cod (and don’t forget your Dennis bracelet (now called Cape Cod bracelet) that HAD to be from Eden or it’s not real). I do miss hanging out at the beach on my lunch…

Okay but why is Kate Winslet on the cover? She defended Polanski and Woody Allen. I’m sad that I think she is insufferable and obnoxious now because I really liked how she promoted body acceptance when I was a teenager. It was nice to hear someone bluntly say it’s all fake and stupid when you’re 14 and have no idea…

My mom bought me Kim Kardashian’s perfume and I laughed SO loud when I unwrapped the package. It actually smells really good though! Then we had a ten minute conversation about each Kardashian (I’m team Corey but my mom disagrees) and it is so sad that I hate-watch this show when I need to turn my brain off.

DING DING DING DING DING! (also Joe is really annoying and seems to cut Mika off a lot. Mika could do better).

I LOVE the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum! I highly recommend visiting if you come to Boston. It’s in a gorgeous mansion. It’s right next to the Museum of Fine Arts, which has a wonderful collection of colonial art/furniture and paintings and items from the American Revolution.

Christmas is one of those times when I am happy to be a Jew because I am way too lazy to decorate and not being socially obligated to do it is a pleasure (also I don’t really give a shit about the Merry Christmas vs. Happy Holidays war. Fuck if I care if you wish me Merry Christmas at the grocery store).