I've been told stuff like that too (the "you don't understand what love is!!" stuff) and it always sounds like the person in question is trying to talk herself into believing she made the right decision.

Look, I know a racist's a racist, but I think racism is so pervasive that there are a lot of people who aren't racist in the way that they're using racial slurs or openly discriminating, but racist in that they buy into stereotypes and white-splaining. I would never be friends with the former sort of racist, but the…

I was just about to ask the same thing. In my case, it's not MY family, exactly, but my husband's family members. Almost all of them are racist/homophobic to some degree. Now that I'm pregnant, I keep wondering, "Do I want my current fetus/soon-to-be baby/child around this?" I mean, they seem to have a hard time not…

Call the police on them. If the cops do nothing about the racism, plant drugs on your family then call the cops again.

See if there is an adult assessment unit at the local health department if you don't feel comfortable contacting APS. APS can have a less punitive feel that CPS but the focus is very much investigation. The adult assessment unit is usually primarily focused on finding resources to help the elderly and vulnerable…

Adult Protective Services should probably be called because this is a health and safety issue.

Parents might actually be a step forward in a way. I knew a couple of older gay men who came back to bumfuck to take care of ailing relatives, and it was always a grandmother or an uncle/aunt with no children of their own around. It was scut work really, not in the sense that taking care of a person is scut, but that…

I'd also be interested to see stats on the burden of care on single daughters as opposed to married/in a relationship daughters. So much of our culture is still about women as caregivers above all, and it's easy for siblings, both male and female, who have already partnered up and have families and responsibilities of…

How are you at calling mother-in-laws to convey this? I'm happy to pay, but need someone blunt... my mother in law keeps insinuating "we" are her retirement plan. Maybe a haiku?
You never saved any money
And then you stopped working dear,
Try being nicer!

Check to see if there's an elder advocacy group in your area, they can probably help in finding the right way to help your GPs make the transition. Also, don't forget to use the terms "Assisted Living" and "Senior Apartments" instead of "nursing home". Perception is 9/10s of the battle.

That doesn't mean they're going to actually do anything to help.

"old lady vitriol" <— real ailment now has a name

That is extremely kind and decent of your dad.

You can tell your brother and sister that you took care of your father and it is their turn.

Every mexican family EVER.

I obeyed your comment. I'm also waving my as though I just don't care.

Or his wife will. :/

this is happening in my family right now. My dad's first wife is on hospice, and is being taken care of by her daughter and my dad—despite him being elderly and not married to this woman for nearly fifty years—and I don't know what my half-brother is doing. "Laying low," according to my dad (enviously)

This is not a surprise at all. When I was probably in my late teens, some friend of my parents said something to me about how I'd have to take care of my parents when they got old (I don't remember the context, or even which friend this was—just this part of the conversation). I thought it was a really weird thing to…

I said his penis should be shy and just a bit pink and Tara was a genius with this. Like the pink is perfect.