Ye Gods! The deathbed statement of Dutch Schultz reads like Hemingway compared to this shit.

Probably because nobody reads Mitch Albom columns anymore.

That sample size must be miniscule, as cops are seldom arrested, much less sent to jail.

Wow! Thanks for bringing some badly needed levity to what has been an extremely depressing thread. That’s some funny stuff, right there!

Much obliged!

Probably tossed that salad, too.

That phrase is at least twice as old as you, Junior. Don’t freak.

Not exactly straight-up Joke Jacking. There were a bunch of those going around at one point, which is where O’Neal got his, too. It was kind of a Public Domain thing. No harm, no foul.

Yep. There were some people in the organization that were lobbying for Lue to get the job over Blatt from the very beginning. It was fairly obvious that Blatt’s leash was pretty damn short (much like Lue, hahaha) when they made Tyronn the highest paid assistant coach in the league at 1.3M per year. Now, I guess we’ll…

But those black and bad rappers aren’t winning multiple Grammys, and thus being declared “better” than rap artists that are, in fact, far superior.

“....but if you play Kid Rock’s “All Summer Long” everyone has to stop having sex immediately and also go to prison.”

Or cemeteries. Because there were bodies buried on that land, and that’s a guaran-damn-tee.

It seemed to me that the Packers were especially whiny during the post-game interviews.

This little chumpstain is just a typical bandwagon-riding Knicks Fan.

“Cheap shot”?

HEWITT: What’s your priority among our nuclear triad?

Kinja is despicable!

Kinja does not want me to star this comment.

Oh, that’s good!

Yeah, ol’ Jerray will be the first to extol the Special Qualities that Washington brings to the table: