Hopefully, the new system will just respond to his phone with “I’m sorry Don. I’m afraid I can’t tweet that…”

I think you mean “asserted dictatorial control of the property, but decided to let you remain as long as you work the tin opener at consistent and regular intervals”.

Sounds like they’ll need a lot more roberts…

Rehearsal footage of the US delegation’s presentations…

They’re very proud of their cricket, since it’s the one sport where they don’t lose to the Germans on penalties!

No, being an unqualified, ignorant fuck who stumped up the most for the post makes it impossible for him to receive balanced and fair consideration for this position.

Missed the edit deadline!

The legislation which decriminalised homosexuality might give you a hint – The Sexual Offences Act, 1967!

1: Free beer.

I was going to dress as a Lambo, but there were no lakes handy!

Hence the push to popularise baseball, and eliminate a colonial hangover as America’s most played field sport!

Trying to work this out… Is he swinging at a fielding throw to avoid being stumped?

You sit in the sun for five days. You drink a lot of beer. Some people run about on the grassy bit after a ball. You buy more beer…

I’m surprised that any of this is supposed to be surprising.

Still remember my father’s phrase from our first abortion referendum - fifth one due next summer…

I thought the courts had comprehensively settled that forcing people into patriotic displays was illegal!

You do realise that the first ever international cricket match was held in New York in 1844, between USA and Canada?

You do realise that the first ever international cricket match was held in New York in 1844, between USA and Canada?

Really?

Not the only song they share…