Every once in a while I try contacts because I don't need my glasses ALL the time, so I take them off a lot and then forget them, and then get cranky later on when I have a headache because I spent all day not wearing my glasses.

That's bananas. I dated a guy in college who told me my parents were irresponsible for leaving me home alone when they were gone on short errands, like to the grocery store, when I was nine. He was never left alone until he was 14 or 15. I was babysitting other peoples' children by the time I was 12, as well. …

I picked up for $10 at Target. Worth it x100.

Nah, Connery is just an asshole:

Snakes in hats? My favorite thing. Snakes in toilets? FUCKING NOPE.

For real, if that came into my house? Well, it wouldn't be my house anymore. That house belongs to the spider.

Jesus christ, Eisen!

People can be horrible :(

I quit ballet when I was 15. I was quite serious, with hours of classes several days each week, and had danced from age three.

Read the comments from the link in the story. It's even worse than I thought it'd be.

I flummoxed my very Catholic mother when she said something about animals not having souls when I was quite young. I wasn't being contrary when I asked "how do you know?" but legitimately curious. She sputtered before conceding she didn't.

She's from Canada; you don't know her.

It's an anecdote for me for sure! My mother also doesn't remember when she hears various versions of urban legends. She also PERSONALLY KNOWS someone who brought home a Peruvian rat AND the woman who got hit by the biscuits (no she doesn't). My father has never once sent me a crap forward!

No, chemtrails get started because the government is trying to control us! Now I've said too much and they'll put me in a FEMA concentration camp :(

ME ME! I READ IT TOO!

Best of luck, and I look forward to reading your work wherever you write it.

Best of luck, Tracie!

But if you or Hubby phrased it as "I'm going to play penis tag and rub my happy place on that girl's bathing suit area," that'd still be a nope, right?

Definitely the best tag ever.

I haven't, but now I will!