The step counts motivate me, as I am always setting goals based on step counts, how much more I think I can push myself, and how I'm going to do that. Having friends on Fitbit speaks to my competitive side, but competing with myself week to week really motivates me on its own.

It's expensive to get a new vacuum every time you suck up one of the damn things, though.

I rented a house a few years ago, and there was a list of dog breeds they didn't allow in the house. My dog isn't any of those breeds, but some of the dogs on the list made me raise my eyebrows. We asked why breed x was on the list, as whatever it was wasn't known as a "bully breed." (Maybe St Bernard?) The…

I obviously love you for this

Bootstraps!

Duh, racism was over in 1955 when Rosa Parks ended it.

AGREE ALL DAMN DAY.

Even she's asking for it. Duh!

I'm suggesting Satan was named for seitan, not the other way around. But, if it is the other way around, I figure it's the obvious that is the trickery. "They'll think I'd have a more clever way of torturing them. This is perfect!" Though, sauerkraut sounds nothing like Satan, and that's clearly the devil's work…

Fake meat made from wheat gluten is the devil. I think it's no coincidence that Satan sounds like seitan.

I thought of it so you don't have to! Smash in the carbs!

Careful. It's a dangerous rabbit hole that I can't stay out of!

This would do a number on Freelee's pocketbook.

Wat. No.

Classist. Not even a mention of bowls of brown? I know I'm not the first one to point it out, but I just need to make sure my outrage is known.

BETTER APOLOGIZE

Boooooo

While I'm pretty sure that they ARE trolling at this point, I admit that these sound totally effective. If you stock my pantry with this shit, I sure will lose a lot of weight. There's no fucking way I'm drinking those!

This is hilarious to me, because I listened to her on Dan Savage's podcast that aired last month...TODAY. I've been talking about her all day.