Prima Nocta is included in the fine print for any Mar-a-Lago hosted weddings, prom parties, quinceañeras, or bat mitzvahs.

I hope this underhanded shite ends up costing Postmates more in lost revenue and bad press than it would have cost to treat their employees like human beings.

Ilhan: "What the fuck, Rashida?"

Haha, no problem. And you're so right! Maybe we'll all get mandatory fit bits :)

So no Universal Minimum Caloric Intake under a Yang Presidency? I look forward to my government celery. 

In all likelihood those are the occupations of the three most recent women to spurn his advances.

The population of Iowa would be a lot lower.

“Alrighty, gang. Someone write me up a Times Op-ed and try not to make me sound like so much of a bonehead.”

Hey now, you try doing an 8 ball of yak, putting on a wool suit and standing in direct sunlight.

Is that Mark Davis? Thank God, I thought Jon Gruden was having an allergic reaction.

What, Pete Bommarito doesn’t have a couch?

I think this defense worked for the guy who killed Harvey Milk.

Trump voters shouldn’t need to phonetically sound out the menu items on Arby’s menu but this is our world.

Now I can’t unsee it.

Snort, snort, pass.

“a savant who spends all day talking to guys who post incel memes”

Only half of these guys are suicidal? I guess half think they’ll escape afterwards Grand Theft Auto style.

Trevor Bauer: “Nice Throw.”

See “Shit Midas” by Dayton, Ohio’s own Guided By Voices:

Don't know where I found that. Now I'm seeing $94 bn to $143 bn per Global Financial Integrity, whoever they are. Personality I'd tack on another 20% cost in time spent waiting around for my dealer.