Heehee, it's sooooo mad! I love cephalopods. Their contracting skin pigment cells are so cool. To wit:

I am in support of a marathon oral-sex event to raise funds for research. Donors can contribute a fixed amount per orgasm and the tagline will be "EAT IT TO BEAT IT!"

I wonder how diligent they are about checking references.

Since a few people seem confused, I'm going to go ahead and clarify that I was kidding. I'm glad your penis doesn't bleed once a month, too! We can be friends even though you are a privileged asshole chauvinist douchebag.*

I was hoping not to have to clarify this, but I was just kidding. I liked AyeAyeCapn's letter to his penis. I just think it's funny to yell "CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE!" It's such a silly thing to say. I could never mean it seriously.

WOW CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE, ASSHOLE.*

I don't know that too many menopause-aged women are seriously considering having more children. I think it's more that it fucks with your hormones and is not exactly a pleasant experience. It's also a tangible demonstration of your body's aging and decline, and not many people are crazy about the idea of getting older…

Well, what with all the bears it attracts, it's a very exciting few days.

Oh, good. Because the first thing that pops into my head after I get my period is, "I want more of these. I hope this continues until I die!!"

Yeah, but a lot of their jokes are conscious and even referential to the fact that it's a show, like the watermark thing. This was the first thought that came to my mind, as well - I was convinced she'd had tons of work done! I don't "care;" she's gorgeous no matter what and great in the show, but she looked REALLY…

Oh, that is just perfect. My heart is overflowing with a fishy sort of joy.

Dolphin fact of the day: the technical anatomical term for a dolphin's snout is a rostrum!

"So long, and thanks for all the DELICIOUS HUMAN BABIES! >:-D >:-D >:-D"

I have had nights EXACTLY like that. Down to the plaid button down. This video is fantastic. Sarah Silverman is the best <3

Oh man, I know. FernGully. He could be my Toxic Love. His choice in roles makes it so weird for me to maintain my crush on him, but I manage.

Oh Dodai bless you for mentioning Worst Witch, you wonderful wonderful person. FIRST movie I thought of, and I posted this clip of "Big Daddy Wiz" in a comment thread where I was trying to avoid deciding whether my crush on him meant I'd bang Nigel Thornberry:

The New York Times, ladies and gentleman. All the news that's fit to primp.

Sometimes I don't get the creative direction behind photoshoots. "Have her stand in front of a well-stocked toiletry shelf and then laugh and laugh and laugh at nothing at all. Misplaced maniacal laughter is testing very well with boomers."

Who are you and how do I get you to follow me around all day interspersing my dull human existence with colorful facts about cyanobacteria.

You actually gave a fetus a virtual makeover. This is amazing. Love that hairstyle - it has a really slimming effect that looks great on gals with round shaped faces and umbilical cords.