The Assimilated Negro is the issuing authority for your own personal Ghetto Pass, helping you safely navigate among the people and places of browner territories.

Ghetto Pass is on sabbatical. Here, after the colon, and third comma, is your new feature summary written in small type:

The Assimilated Negro is the issuing authority for your own personal Ghetto Pass, helping you safely navigate among the people and places of browner territories.

Ghetto Pass correspondent The Assimilated Negro weighs in on yesterday's groundbreaking NYT coverage of black people who listen to white people music (which, the paper helpfully informs you, was actually invented by black people. His report follows.

The Assimilated Negro is the issuing authority for your own personal Ghetto Pass, helping you safely navigate among the people and places of browner territories.

The Assimilated Negro is the issuing authority for your own personal Ghetto Pass, helping you safely navigate among the people and places of browner territories.

The Assimilated Negro is the issuing authority for your own personal Ghetto Pass, helping you safely navigate among the people and places of browner territories.

The Assimilated Negro is the issuing authority for your own personal Ghetto Pass, helping you safely navigate among the people and places of browner territories.

The Assimilated Negro is the issuing authority for your own personal Ghetto Pass, helping you safely navigate among the people and places of browner territories.

The Assimilated Negro is the issuing authority for your own personal Ghetto Pass, helping you safely navigate among the people and places of browner territories.

The Assimilated Negro is the issuing authority for your own personal Ghetto Pass, helping you safely navigate among the people and places of browner territories.

The Assimilated Negro is the issuing authority for your own personal Ghetto Pass, helping you safely navigate among the people and places of browner territories.

The Assimilated Negro is the issuing authority for your own personal Ghetto Pass, helping you safely navigate among the people and places of browner territories.

The Assimilated Negro is the issuing authority for your own personal Ghetto Pass, helping you safely navigate among the people and places of browner territories.

The Assimilated Negro is the issuing authority for your own personal Ghetto Pass, helping you safely navigate among the people and places of browner territories.

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To follow-up on our transit transients who intended to break the record for most egregious waste of time fastest ride through the entire NYC subway system, covering all of 230 miles in the process.

Sightings are sent in by readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map; send yours to tips@gawker.com.

Friday:
• 1) Ted Leo and his anthemic Pharmacists make their annual stopover at
South Street Seaport tonight, this time with "ruffian punks" DC
Snipers and "hype brewing rock kids" Tokyo Police Club. Nothing quite
so punk like politically-charged lyrics on a quaint tourist-mobbed
Pier. [flavorpill]
• 2) If ever you…