i want kara to have a feature that’s purely about what white kara brown thinks.

New picture of Jesus.

Ceiling fans are for the porch.

Air conditioning is the greatest gift Jesus ever gave us. I’d be a fool not to wallow in it until my nips are nice and stiff.

This is so interesting. My Southern WASP-y self had no idea about this. You really do learn something new everyday!

Excellent. Now when I get married (in give or take ten years) I’ll just fill it out as we go along, because I know my wedding is going to be some magical pinterest shit.

Please buy more flowers! From a florist, like me! There are so many cool things we can do that aren’t plain grandma bouquet (Even though that’s the most common thing) . And flowers come in sooooo many colors. Lime green and gray roses exist. Carnations come in multicolor. As do Gerber daisies.

“Sorry mom, I’d love to come home for Christmas and have you meet your first grandchild but it might slightly inconvenience someone for a few hours. I just can’t take that risk.”

Sometimes, it’s not a choice. Sometimes you have a baby and you have to fly. Hell, no one WANTS to do it. So why not try a little human compassion? You never know, you might like it.

When I was a a flight attendant, it was always the adults that caused the most problems. Always. You don't pay for the seat behind you. If you don't want to fly with babies and children, then fly private. Oh, can't fly private? Then maybe stay home with your grandma and save the rest of us from your little passive…

So is the new rule that people that have children should now tether themselves to the cities they were born in and to their parent’s sides now? No more living life to the fullest because your kids may one day bother some delicate flower on a plane?

I pick this one: when you don't want to deal with other people in the skies, get yourself a NetJets account and fly private.

“Your stankin’ ass”

Can we chill about this now or what?

My guess is I’d rather be stuck on a plane sitting next to Jane and Goldie than the people who stick their noses in other people’s business.

I actually have a pretty darn flat stomach, am slender, and 99% of those jeans make me look like a sack of fat tied with rubber bands. Fuck those jeans. I vote we steal them all in the dead of night and make one hell of a bonfire.

Exactly. AND it’s not like crunches burn fat. I’m pretty sure I have a six pack due to all the pilates I’ve done over the years, but it’s hidden under a layer of abdominal fat. Some people simply have squishy bellies (and a proclivity for pasta).

Fun with typos: Listen to your wife because reading is quite constructive.

So my parents bought their retirement home from a wealthy, childless gay couple. Y’all, this spot is wall-to-wall party showers. We’re talking minimum 25 square feet in the smallest one with 3 shower heads, and the master bedroom with, no fucking shit, 12 heads total and enough room to comfortably fit at least 10-15…

PRIVATE JET ALL THE WAY. I travel so much and oh my gosh how amazing to be able to bypass all the airport bullshit and squeezing 500 people onto a plane and instead fly in luxury.