$251 per hour? What an asshole. 

I think it’s unlikely the police or DA would arrest or press charges, due to the time honored legal precedent of “Don’t start none, won’t be none.” And it’ll only get that far if your “victim” is willing to confess to theft in order to get back at you.

It sounds like you believe Gamora will remain dead after the next Avengers. I am not nearly so certain. 

If you’re going to study, you need a subject. 

Goddamn bears. This is just like them.

My condolences.

Please let us know how that works for you. 

I’m guessing the mole rat will be CGI, as Jimmy Blamhammer decided.

That is a remarkably intelligent five year old. I work in a library with lots of kids all around, and most five year olds have the intellect and conversational skills of a bucket of mildly stupid rocks. If we can turn this kid around on the whole racism thing, he or she will have a bright future ahead of them.

If I had to pick one of them to fuck, I’d definitely go with Chuck Norris. If only to cuddle afterwards and learn once and for all whether it’s true that he doesn’t sleep. He waits.

Like he’ll be able to afford a van. 

If she does blackface, then she and her kid average out to two normal white folks. That’s just science. 

Cheap bastards couldn’t round up to $200K?

That’s what struck me. Who the hell can pull off two authentic looking Nazi costumes - one child sized - at the last minute? A Nazi, is who. 

Came here for I didn’t know what, but it turned out to be this.

Or the bossa nova. 

As a librarian myself, I’m not surprised that you received emails solely focused on the fact that the woman who called the cops was not a librarian. Many librarians get extremely intense about who is and who is not qualified to be called a librarian. I understand the feelings behind the intensity, even if I think it’s…

Doesn’t he have a tiny little fuzzball of a dog? If she doesn’t have a giant wolfhound she needs to get one.

I’m not gonna lie, I would giggle like a little girl if this one sank, too.

If she’s smart she’ll have a Hispanic husband she can trot out when the news crews find her. That’s planning ahead.