Girl, I fucking LOVED HIM SO MUCH when he was on the M’s. My dad used to take us to the Kingdome to watch the games from the nosebleed seats and my 10-year-old ass would just swoon.

I think Bella is possibly the most untalented, undeserving model working right now (at least Kendall didnt create a whole new face with surgery and then try to be a model), but the Weeknd is super talented. Great singer and lyricist (and mood creator). 

Every time I see it, I can’t help but think:

Maybe he should have called himself The Fortnight then.

My favorite Alex Rodriguez story: that he might have paintings of himself as a centaur.  https://deadspin.com/5394232/a-rod-news-from-the-you-cant-make-this-stuff-up-department

Where do I score a few of those $60,000 Tribeca lofts??? 

Spiders have lots of eyes, Cheese. It’s a weakness- they get mesmerized by all that booty and you can kill them while they stare.

Yeach but this was reportedly the kind of spider that can kill you. 

A couple of weeks ago I called my husband while I was at work because I found a giant wolf spider in my kids toy bin that had been stalking me for days, but always eluded capture.

Yeah, but did he get the spiders?

Legit black widows though?! ‘Cause in that case I get it.

I have a similar long standing one sided feud with Kate Middleton. My husband proposed to me with a sapphire engagement ring, then lo-and-behold Kate gets a sapphire engagement ring. Then she pushes her wedding date to be before mine even though they got engaged after me (not to mention clearly being snubbed by not…

There’s already a Taurus baby terrorizing the Royal Family--Princess Charlotte...who was born on my 50th bday (May 2, 2015)!

You BARBARIAN.

This probably isn’t enough. There’s gonna need to be pics of Biebs eating an actual baby. The baby can be covered in hot sauce with a fat dollop of sour cream though.

Thank you! You know politics is f*cked when a Boston girl forgets Bennifer. One of my fav pop-culture moments was when Ben told an interviewer that his Southey bros were 1000X more impressed that he was “dating” Jlo than in any of his other accomplishments, which is how it should be of course.