Thats when you put your hand all the way up your girls ass to the elbow and work it so she moves her mouth like a muppet. You haven’t tried it before, prudes around here jeez.

He didn’t even give him head pets. I do not like that baseball man.

They’re both the dumber rock

how many times are we going to do this dance?

It actually doesn’t impact that at all when you realize that the Browns spend most of the game with their heads shoved up their own asses.

but the 1,000 fans planning to attend the event deserve better.

(for reference)

Can we back up slightly and talk more about your roommate selection criteria?

He stopped being a bigot, but he kept the swastikas to remind himself. Of what it’s like to be a bigot. In case he needs to remember that, for example if he meets a black person.

In closing, we only have about 3 weeks left

Well you only feel pain in one spot at a time, right? So if you’re concussed, your jaw won’t hurt as much. It’s basic biology.

“Sullivan said Aston-Reese has a broken jaw that will require surgery and a concussion.”

Mostly spy novels, and the occasional non-fiction.

I drive everywhere in reverse, and I produce so much gasoline I don’t know what to do with it.

I can still hear my breath. In. Out. In. Out. Yet still, the silence was deafening. And then he said the words every man, woman and child would never forget: “One small step for man. One giant leap for mankind.” A human being had touched the surface of the moon. Well, two, if we’re counting me.

A spokesman for the family said: “In this difficulty time, the Kardashians ask everyone to please respect their need for attention.”

all the babies are in there, you pick one, pop it, and then you get to keep whats inside.

So...is the baby inside one of those balloons? I’m not sure how reproduction works...

Is it just me or does Kraft always sound like he’s got a few martinis on board?

You’d think a Packer would know what’s in his luggage.