She was brilliant - although she had little time to start churning out the shit - her death still makes me sad, and she is probably not the best subject for an honorary statue.

How many people like him have EVER been alive?

I'm sure this will improve upon Bob Dylan & the Band's lousy old "Basement Tapes."

I really wish the Hold Steady had waited until they could come up with a worse album title.

All Neil Young is looking to do at this point is to have everybody be "surprised" by his latest foray into virtually unlistenable horse shit. So I'm sure he's pleased, and now we can all buy his pristine music player…you see, his latest album sounds like shit, but he's really, really concerned with music sounding…

Mia had someone interview the tsunami, and let's just say it doesn't seem that way. Not that it would hold up in court.

Have you seen the documentary? He has…um…several problems.

How could he possibly die of Philip Seymour Hoffman?

I'm a Browns fan, and that sounds perfectly reasonable.

Whoever he plays, he's bound to have dots all over his face while he does it.

On the other hand, he will make a lot of money by doing it. And he'll need the money once he gets his head torn off.

I see him running around like an idiot and ending up in the hospital by week six. Where they'll catch him smoking a doobie.

No. I'm from Cleveland. Cleveland is that already-plucked rubber chicken at Spencer's Gifts that nobody ever buys. But it hangs in there, waiting and waiting.

I'd be cool with him "just repeating himself" if he would repeat one of the six or seven consistently great albums that he's made, rather than writing endless "songs" that sound like sludge slowly dripping out of a pipe.

They didn't even give him time to hone his suck-ness like everyone else!

Like R.E.M.

Well, I was kidding. Both those movies are pre-sold out the wazoo.

No one would have ever gone to see "The Hunger Games" or any of the "X-Men" movies if Jennifer Lawrence hadn't been in them. That's just a fact.

My God. Are you guys serious about these things??

The sun's not yellow. It's chicken. (That has no bearing on this. I just wanted to say it.)