achievement unlocked! : despair

i'm sure you meant the armored vehicle kind of tank, but i imagined a band swimming around in a giant aquarium, the aquarium hauled by a flatbed truck.

this gave me the idea for a game where some magical spell has trapped every person in the land in a tiny walking area… all but you. so, while trying to unravel the mystery of the spell, you actually have to do all of their menial tasks, otherwise the whole land will starve

i guess that explains those israeli commandos who keep trying to storm the compound during our family christmas parties.

n is also the 14th letter of the alphabet. 1+4 is 5. turn a poorly written 5 on its side and… it sort of looks like the letter n.

"is map inside you today, backpack?"

my great aunt's name was henrietta, but she went by "johnny overalls"

so, after they examine their findings, i guess we can look forward to a lot more dora the explorer reruns?

i am serious. and my aunt's name is shirley.

it's a great song, and she's one of my favorite singers. i got to see her live, but she didn't play our town, and she was sick, so it wasn't the best time.

plus, you know the count would be pretty sassy given the chance.

man, your son is brutal.

*gets out etch-a-sketch*

then getting angry over mary todd lincoln spending too much money on gloves*

all writing letters to grant about what a brazen hussy that laura keene is.

ok fine, do whatever the fuck you want, internet. i give up.

history doesn't mention sherman's passion for celebrity gossip nearly often enough

category: medical, health

pssst. internet.

just leave me alone, please, internet.