I hate to say it but the liberal bias is running deep. Even reality has a liberal bias now.

Remember before Myspace was totally forgotten and it was considered a joke that used to be popular? That's where Twitter is at now.

That would be creepy? Then what do you recommend I do with this Hillary body pillow I knitted after quitting my job to knit this now-creepy pillow. Shit! why do I always do these things…

Mine would be "Sack of Hammers."

I like this concept of "violently unimpressed."

Practice. After you've interviewed many times you'll be more comfortable doing it.

Interesting. What is it called when you get turned on by rubbing yourself up against a dumpster?

Man loses his hands, builds new ones out of metal, and society pitches in and buys him a Fleshlight… That brings a tear to my eye. And if anyone doesn't find that story moving, they don't have a heart. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be in my bunk. This wank is dedicated to a very special person in China.

"Frankly, WOES, once-a-week PIV is more sex than most young straight dads are getting. "

Resentment over the break up of the greatest rock band ever? I'm surprised to hear this. What role to Yoko Ono play in the breakup of Jawbreaker?

Yes, and I illustrated it in a diorama. (I got a C-.)

He's embarrassed about his coprophagia and that causes him to over-compensate.

He's lost. Let's stop talking about him for awhile. And if he really must be brought up, it must be done in the most file disgusting terms. For the evil, hate, and fear he's bread. He's not funny. There's nothing funny about him. He's just a pathetic lump of shit.

Ouch, that's harsh. Henry VI wasn't that bad.

The only safe choice is Wagner. Nothing controversial about that guy.

Really? Well that's it, Killer Mike will no longer be my child's doctor.

But The Chronic is such a good album. And that's proof that friendship trumps attempted murrder. I'm sorry but I feel very strongly about this.

Sure, whatever gets you off. I like to run face first into a door while I'm doing it.

Johnny Depp has played British roles. And in the novel The Beach, the main character was English. In the film adaptation Leonardo DiCaprio played an American version of that role.

Renne Zellweger.