It doesn’t matter whether he explicitly lied or not. It’s still technically rape by deception. That woman wouldn’t have had sex with him if she’d known he was gay. She checked beforehand by asking what kind of women he was into, and he evaded the question but answered in a way that implied he was into women…

“’hey, beeteedubs, I was raped a few weeks back by a skinny white dude, I keep having flashbacks when I’m with another skinny white dude, so I’ve decided for now to hook up with people who don’t fit that physical description.’”

“I wonder how many people would feel like Kai should disclose that he’s a trans man early on vs Kwame disclosing that he’s a gay man.”

Agreed (this wasn’t my impression either and I highly doubt that they had the option of riding on the back of the truck with the other passengers). As a matter of fact, there was a scene where the bus driver assisted the white passengers with their luggage but left the black woman’s bag in the undercarriage.  It was…

“Atticus and a fellow traveler choose to walk several miles back to town rather than travel with the white riders on a small truck transporting them the same distance after the bus breaks down”

I read that scene as them being told not to ride, rather than them choosing to walk. 

“Atticus and a fellow traveler choose to walk several miles back to town rather than travel with the white riders on a small truck transporting them the same distance after the bus breaks down”

just watched, that race against sundown was fucking tense. I really know very little about Lovecraft and his stories, so I’m happy I’m being introduced to them this way.

I like how you say the Civil War wasn’t about slavery, and then each of your next three sentences are about how the Civil War was, in fact, about slavery.

“Our new government is founded upon exactly the opposite idea; its foundations are laid, its corner-stone rests, upon the great truth that the negro is not equal to the white man; that slavery subordination to the superior race is his natural and normal condition. This, our new government, is the first, in the history…

Personally, I think if it had been, say, a pick-up in a bar with no expectations of seeing each other again, I wouldn’t super care. If a gay friend asked me to have sex with him because he wanted to see what sex with a woman was like, I wouldn’t be upset. But if a man sought me out on a dating service, had several…

Nah, I don’t think you have to disclose every gender of every person you sleep with. But you should probably disclose if you exclusively sleep with one gender and are sleeping with that person (of an opposite gender) basically as an experiment to see if you can do it/because you currently feel unsafe with the gender…

Using someone as an experiment, even for casual sex, is not a cool thing to do. Just because he isn’t trying to marry her doesn’t mean that he doesn’t owe her at least the respect of letting him know his intentions so she could have made an informed decision about whether or not she wanted to be an “experiment.” If I…

She was awful but this was similar to the Terry’s thresome in Italy. It was all based on false premises and it’s understandable she feels used. She not really wrong in kicking him out. She’s wrong in basically everything else (even her hair).

But does the “ talk “ saves lives? I mean we have seen plenty of video and read stories of people doing EXACTLY what the police told them to do ( hands up, don’t make sudden movements etc.) and still get killed or hurt.

I read this when it was first posted and basically just cried. Hours later, I just feel this so much. I always loved babies and children but also never grew up with any illusions of what parenting actually is. My mother sacrificed her whole life for us while my dad worked full time at his job and then came home and…

Danielle, this is so good to read. I want to hug you while still conveying my thanks and admiration of this article. you are amazing and we’re here with you. Fuck corona (the virus not the beer) for tossing us in the deep end of existential regret.

Thanks so much for writing this - I think you have and will touch a lot of women. I was right where you are but at the age of 45. Had suffered from depression on and off throughout my adult life but didn’t really get it under control until my 40s. I have dated on and off for years but, after being abused by my father…

You know what I love the most about this article?  It pays attention to us single women in our 40s.

No we can’t have it all and there are costs associated to everything.

So, children aren’t an accessory. They are not a money making or status building scheme. They should be raised in a stable 2 parent household. Why? Because it is very difficult to raise a child and work through all the stages, circumstances and requirements put on you, alone.