Whoosh! ;)

Paint your whole body in randomly-colored numbers. Don't worry if the colors don't match up to hers, it will only heighten her confusion and satisfaction of the sexy times.

I'm pretty sure that's called necrophilia...

Don't listen to Tron, he's probably running it on EDGE or GPRS, ;). Develop your own opinions of it. It runs super smooth on my iPad 2 and iPhone 4/4S/5.

I don't think 1/1,000th of max power would do anything more than look like a supersoaker. ;)

I watched the whole video. That guy is hilarious!

I'd bet that this ups XKCD's traffic. Many people that read Giz might not visit XKCD often, and reading this might make them curious...

Yep. Looks like that metaphorical slope has been mounted and is ready to be ski'd.

GODDAMNIT GIZMODO! STOP THIS SHIT FROM COMING UP IN THE COMMENTS!

...and it's ripe for getting fucked.

I have a good amount of the toys, too. RatTrap, Optimus, Megatron, Cheetor, Blackarachnia (I think), Airazor...I can't think of any other ones off the top of my head... but I probably had about 10-15 of them.

I friggin LOVED Beast Wars!

You should never forgive her, and bring it up at every holiday and family gathering. Also, don't forget to cry a little, and tell her that she killed your childhood.

pwned.

Just because it snows ALL the time in the Northeast, doesn't mean that they can plan for everything. They [the "media", not Giz] are not acting like it's the apocalypse. They're not saying that life will never be the same. They're just reporting that it's a craplot of snow, and businesses and shit are closed, and for…

haha, yeah except this doesn't happen every single year, to this extreme.

Cool story, bro.

I can't remember where I read this same quip a year or so ago, but ever since I heard it, it's all I say when people try to feel superior or "one-up" someone else.