I’m just going to wait until the movie comes out and not give a shit about YouTube theories until then!

It’s this generation’s “gluten allergy”. 

I don’t know. I heard that Star Wars stuff took place like a long time ago and really far away from GotG. 

They’re pretty useful when you want to listen to failed comedians ramble on about the pointless minutiae of their lives, occasionally interrupting themselves for long rambling monologues about meals delivered to you in the mail.

Well, it’s been three years. Do you still “love” this film? Because it is indeed dog-shit. 

*Andrew Garfield patiently waits by his phone

Well, what did you find? I’m sure as shit not going to research anything for myself on the Internet.

In my mind, I always pictured the monkey from Outbreak would be perfect for this role. Whatever, Hollyweird.

Birmingham is great if you’re a fan of the show. Even in 2019, it still feels like anybody might suddenly lurch over and suddenly stab in you in the chest. Also, the train station looks like an over-sized suppository.

He played an angel in Michael so it pretty much evens out. 

Was very much hoping that to “out-Travolta John Travolta”, Fallon would cut off his face.  

It’s been a sort of special hell that I’ve come to accept will never end. Long live the eighties. 

Ah, the bear negotiating technique. It’s the first thing you learn in basic wilderness skills.

If he was actually combat ready, he would have been riding with bear mace and not throwing his bike at a grizzly.

High school is not the same as a job.
Student in your high school is not the same as your co-worker.

But feel free to continue along with your bad faith argument.  

 

Always assumed that shortly after the show ended, he murdered both her and Ross and stole the baby. 

Tucson is the West’s version of Florida. None of this surprises me. 

I think the shame in the Gawkerverse merging with the AV Club is that I accidentally end up in the comments section of the wrong website. 

“the Las Vegas shooter, motivation still unknown”

His motivation was to murder as many people as he could.

There’s not enough tube socks in this world or the next to clean up that mess.