Maybe by writing a complete set of new situations and jokes??

What am I supposed to do if I never listened to his music in the first place?

He’s turned into a German William Shatner by this point. He’s recognized his pop culture role and figures he might as well play it for all he’s worth. William Burroughs could have done it, too, but he wasn’t as good at marketing.

Has anybody said, “Get off of my lawn” yet?? Surely, somebody here is clever enough to say, “Get off of my lawn.”

There’s not an ounce of insight in it! It reads like an 8th grader trying to fake a book report.

Actually, the biggest gotcha of the first one is that it made me fall asleep. (This review, by the way, is damn-near generic. I’m glad the actors are good-looking anyway.)

I want her to chew on a piece of hay and sing “Blue Yodel No. 9" while sitting in a box car.

Um...yes.

It’s watered-down R&B with an occasional steel guitar. And the singer says “pickup” a lot, and tells you that he or she “don’t need no fancy (fill in the blank.)” That last part will be a bit difficult for Beyonce, as she quite obviously needs a WHOLE LOT of fancy (fill in the blank.)

I can’t wait to hear the new album by this canny operator!!

This thing looks like the Bob Marley pavilion at Epcot.

I was interested in that, and it’s well-written.

That’s how people who are standing three feet away from Keanu Reeves repeatedly manage to miss him.

My buddy worked on “Heat,” and the actors in that movie got EXTENSIVE training before filming that incredible shoot-out sequence. They all knew exactly what they were doing. But that’s hardly always the case.

“Executive Producer” can mean pretty much anything. It’s not the same as a hands-on producer. In all likelihood - although I don’t know this for a fact - Baldwin helped get a low-budget film off the ground due to his presence as a marketable star. He asks for an executive producer credit for that, and he gets it. It…

Pretty good year, I guess, but one of the strongest years in the history of film??!! Let me introduce you to pretty much any year in the 1970's! Those movies were groundbreaking, and not because they finally figured out how to make a movie starring a popular doll.

Spielberg wasn’t nominated when “The Color Purple” got 11 nominations. It was weird, but nobody blamed it on him having a dick. It’s not like this is the first time this has happened.

He was just about the best thing in that movie. So there’s that. (Half his previous nominations have been damn-near inexplicable to me. I hardly think he always deserves one.)

There are no more jokes in America. Everyone and everything is a viable alternative- sane or not, worthy or not. Movies are the least of it.

Oh, here come this year’s “Oscar snub” articles. I must have seen nine or ten of them yesterday. To be clear- not everyone who isn’t nominated for an Oscar has been snubbed. Some people just aren’t fucking nominated! Greta Gerwig? Sure. She directed the biggest movie of the year and it got loads of nominations. That…