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HEY THAT’S ME! I MADE THAT! True life, I cried a little bit when I got it in the mail, and I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen my father look at me with such pride.

Serge Ibaka forgives you for leaving him off this list. He understands that you were literally blinded by his handsomeness and thus unable to recall his beauty when putting this together.

A fundamentally incomplete list without Handsome Henrik Lundqvist

If $135,000 seems like a lot just for emotional damages, it is worth noting that the baker did not just refuse them service. She also published the couple’s names and home address on the Internet and encouraged people to harass them. So there was much more emotional damage than just refusing them service.

Oh damn, RVP is going to Turkey?

Stop, please...I can only get so erect.

Every night is Caucasian heritage night at baseball games in Utah

This has been pretty much debunked. The percentage of cast and crew for The Conqueror that developed cancer and the percentage that died from it were right along the national averages of the time. A study also showed that the residents of the area where they filmed weren’t shown to develop cancer or any other ailments

It’s like Bosnia & Herzegovina.

Not fucking, this is a great color for you.

SPF30 is some melanin haver shit. Us true day walkers require SPF50+

Stan is awesome. You shut your square mouth, you fucking square.

“don’t swipe too much nail polish on a nail at a time”

Wow, I’m always amazed how they manage to squash their real hair that much. How? Or is that not a cap?

This casting makes our hearts hurt a little bit, and I’m sure you know why... [snip]

Somewhere in here there’s a joke about spaying and neutering your pets or else they’ll soon be back, and in greater numbers.

Why are physicists crap in a ménage à trois? Because they can never figure out the three-body problem.