Ew, Peeps. I’ll take a box of these instead any day.

The Only Moral Abortion is my Abortion is one of my favorite things ever.

And that some of the men have pressured women into having abortions, or at the very least enthusiastically supported their choice to have one. The only moral abortion is my abortion. Every damned time.

The existential distress is coming from inside the house! The existential distress is coming from inside the house!

Hi Cuomo, can you maybe spend some time working on things this city actually needs? Y’know, more affordable housing, closing income gaps, improving train stations in low income areas, establishing a more financially equal public school system, protecting small business owners? No? Just tits? Okay, thanks.

This shit doesn’t even look real, though. This is like if Versace and Chanel met, had side affairs with 2 Chainz and Flava Flav, then had a baby, and then that baby grew up and had sex with a street vendor on Canal Street.

YOUR REAL MOTHER LEFT YOU IN A HOTEL SAFE

Here in Canada, our hotel safes double as walk-in closets and also provide universal health care.

Screenshot all flight details/travel documents. Internet access is unreliable when traveling.

Are you sure you were at a wedding? Sounds like a bad night at a bar you don’t really like but you have a friend who’s sleeping with one of the bartenders or something.

Maybe they thought Helen was too common/cliché?

He’s SO good in Love and Mercy, you should check that out!

an armed woman who is otherwise weaker, physically, than the unarmed man has just armed that man. Every statistic back that up.

Someone needs to take the Portlandia sketch “Put a bird on it” and replace ‘bird’ with ‘gun’, and bam, you’ve got the NRA platform in a nutshell.

The summer before I went to college I briefly sat in on a trial where the accused was defending herself from a murder charge by claiming she had battered women’s syndrome. She was deaf—and knowing my hometown, i cannot imagine would have had any luck navigating the legal system or the DV system. So she shot her…

He was cautioned for trespassing — but not arrested — when he showed up at Monica’s house again on June 19.

You can definitely say that as often as you want, that’s a great thing to say, here, I’m gonna call my parents, can you say it into the phone to them

Oh so this is what they meant by a Talladega night

I got an engagement stove. My fiance and I love to cook together and instead of a stupid ring that I might enjoy and he’d end up paying off sometime in the distant future, we invested in an incredible stove that we would both enjoy and use every single day. It’s got two convection ovens and ten burners, two of which…