Dear contributors to today’s BCO, I’d like you all to know that you’re the wind beneath my wings, & an inspiration to us all. I promise to skewer a troll in honour of each & every one of you.

“I like to base my friends over who isn’t crazy and who isn’t judgmental — be them religious or no.”

Hon, is there anyone in Alaska who isn’t a meth-head? Is rehab available in your village? If so, you should really look into it.

Y’know, one of the best things about the Internet is messing with teenagers who think they know how to troll. Schadenfreude is truly delicious, kiddo. You literally don’t have a clue what I’m doing, or why I’m doing it this way.

“you screen capped something that is right above your comment”

“Question, between multiple accounts and proxies;”

Oh jeez, me too. DO NOT READ THE WIKIPEDIA PAGE IF YOU DON’T LIKE SPOILERS!

I think the worst part would be christening the big sack of spider-human babies.

Australia has a law that you can’t profit from a crime via books, interviews, etc.

Then do it with a little style: “Translation: He skull-fucked it.”

Oh honey, I already have. Thanks for making so easy for me though, kid. ;)

“Also, I’ve never understood people who take it entirely at it’s face value.”

“the movie was very much in line with the theme of the book”

“The blatant disrespect towards one of the greatest authors of the past century.”

Here’s the perfect ritual:

This video is a metaphor for America after 9/11, right?

“The truth is that romance entails a kind of artful back and forth at first, and it’s not just women who are hedgy about feelings. Feelings are weird, dumb, and hard to own. We’re all capable of spazzing. Most people express feelings for the first time bookended by spaz. Typically it goes spaz spaz spaz spaz Actual…

Hon, I didn’t claim that American crawfish are all the same species. You keep on saying that I’ve claimed stuff that I haven’t. Your claim that: “This is not correct. Different names for the same creature” is still wrong, & waving your tiny, angry pee-pee around isn’t going to make it any less wrong.

Especially if it was on a farm.