It’s been nearly 16 years, but my mantra was “If you don’t like what I am doing you can stay home, I will give your chicken to someone else.”

“Don’t have a big stupid wedding full of people you won’t even be friends with in 3 years.”

Not just the left. The right is being sold the same exact craziness. In fact, the stuff GOOP sells is also sold by Alex Jones with a different label. Anti-vaxxers are equally left and right.

FUCK OFF DR. KELLY!!!

Before we got married my wife’s mother was putting a huge amount of pressure on us to throw a big wedding that we couldn’t afford and no one else was going to pay for. So we drove to Vegas and got married. The whole thing cost us $200 and we had a great time.

This is such an asshole move, my jaw dropped when I read it. Under no circumstance should you EVER go and cut someone’s flowers! There’s plenty of reasons, but a few at the top of the list:

Mr. Contrary and I got married on a cliff overlooking the ocean at sunset. Everyone parked on the highway shoulder and walked 1/2 mile into a state park to the cliff. The guests played The Wedding March on kazoos. We had a friend with a beautiful Irish accent perform the ceremony. I wore an $11 sundress. Afterward, we…

So a piece of advice is to stay up late the night before your wedding and steal a few flowers from each of your neighbors’ yards??

By having a, um, basic wedding.

“The flowers I did decorate with, I snuck out late the night before my wedding and clipped from yards or sunflower patches. We only took one or two from any given yard, so we weren’t complete jerks.”

This story arc sucks. The characters are one-dimensional (really, MARLA is the classiest one out of this group?), the writing is hackneyed and borders on imbecilic (in what universe is “Unfortunately only attention seeking and self-serving noise.” a complete sentence?), and the whole thing really just feels like the…

I think it’s advice columnist Carolyn Hax who recommends that when people ask you inappropriately prying questions like that, you look them in the eye and say, in a chilly tone, “Why ever would you ask me that?”

I think more people with the emotional capacity to need to be direct with these rude-ass prying people. You have certainly earned the right to make them uncomfortable and maybe they’ll think twice before harassing the next person about children.

This is a poem that sums up so much of this experience:

I’ve written about it before but my wife and I went through our own bit of hell trying to have kids that almost killed her twice before we just gave up. It sucked. No need to give condolences as it was years ago and we’ve made our peace with it all.

Some days are diamonds, some days are rocks

And his soundtrack for “She’s The One” was great too. “Angel Dream (no. 4)” was our first wedding dance. My husband passed away last year, and now Tom Petty is gone too. God damn it. I’m too young to feel this damn old.

Like me and my cockroach husband, Keef is well preserved through the many chemicals and drugs imbibed over the years.

Stop it. Keef is immortal. He’s ensconced in amber for all times.

Someone needs to immediately put Stevie Nicks into a bubble. 2017 will NOT do to me what 2016 did. I’m so upset about this. He wasn’t even old.