I mean this with no smartassery or sarcasm whatsoever...How, how often, and why are you ever driving without your license on your person or in your vehicle?

Here’s a simple flowchart:

or jesus christ god forbid you carry around a 10 gram piece of plastic known as your driver’s license around on you/in your car

I gotta agree. It’s pretty nice to be white, isn’t it?

yeah but if you make em do that they get pissed!

...the implication being that there are people who get in the car *without* their driver’s license? The thing weighs about 10 grams. It’s not really such a burden to carry it all the time.

I flew on Hawaiian and Alaskan (both for the first time) recently and they were downright pleasant experiences!

and I’m not just referring to when they do it for the losing team (“You just won, how do you feel?” “I feel good!”). You could eliminate 99.999% of all professional sports interviews/press conferences, and the world would not be any worse for wear.

I know this isn’t exactly 100% relevant to this article, and maybe a weird place to take this stand, but...

you clearly underestimate the ferocity with which I can pee the bed

Wise beyond his years!

He was treating everyone like a criminal

is that more surprising than Zaza Pachulia being on a title contender? I still remember a young Zaza on the 26-win Hawks. Look how far he’s come!

that’s my favorite segment from the whole movie. Usually I find Gilbert Gottfried unbearable, but I have to admit this was an incredible bit of comedy

yeah the part about shock was my own dumb joke. I figure it’s pretty much 100% known by now that Bob Saget’s stage routine is not for the kids. I don’t know the rules about linking to other sites, so I won’t do it - but if you search ‘the aristocrats’ on youtube it should pretty much be the first result.

There’s like a 3 hour monstrosity of it on youtube. The first 90 or so minutes are the actual film, and the rest is bonus material - mostly comedians telling their own renditions of the joke. I know this is gonna be a shock, but Saget does a really good, appallingly dirty version.

I take it pretty much as a given you’ve seen the movie then? If not, it’s a must-see. I think it’s still on youtube

I dig this, cause I think you’re some top-notch trolling, but I’m not sure I really get it, you know? Is this a Vin Scully bit or am I missing something?

We call ourselves The Aristocrats

Russell Westbrook is a one man argument in favor of returning the NBA dress code.