The video game was so much creepier to me, mostly because my only opportunities to play it were after the girl scout troop mom had a red wine passout and her kid let us all gather ‘round and scream at whoever was trying to run from that damn mummy.

My first thought was, Stephen King? Ok, how much child gangbanging is he gonna shoehorn in?

The proper term for “making biscuits” is knerting. Yes, with a K.

So what? I’m an organ donor.

Plus, gotta love how every rapist and/or rape apologist (i.e. also rapist) turns into a fucking legal expert like “WELL TECHNICALLY...”

paraffin brain

All part of the standard “Aryan Princess” package in that Faustian contract.

See, this actually begins to explicate his inexplicable popularity with dads. He’s Dad Joke: The Man. And that’s just fine.

After six weeks of hissing, my 17yo lady came to tolerate the 6 month old doofus dudebro interloper, mainly because winter came around and he did a good job of keeping her butt warm while she slept.

Taylor Swift, uh... Can I have more time?

Honestly I’d take a convict over a frat/sorority cultist any day. The convict has a better understanding of consequences and probably more exposure to other races. 

No? Private schools, at least, can expel you for any reason or none at all. The “at-will employers” of the educational world. Evangelical colleges can expel you for holding hands with someone of the opposite sex off-campus, and they do. Other institutions can and will kick you out for joining banned orgs.

This is the only defensible “take” from these situations.

Can we also talk about the time they were on Wait, Wait and straight up admitted their ideal partner would be their twin brother, but as a chick? Because that would have been kind of funny if it didn’t sound like the truth.

Big TVs make me profoundly uncomfortable. We’re already on the brink of the Fahrenheit 451 movie adaptation’s wall-screens and creepy scripted soaps as a substitute for an inner life. “And what do YOU think, LINNN-DAH?”

As a general rule, the car is not a gift. You are granted use of the company-owned pink (or whatever) car only as long as you keep your sales numbers boosted into the stratosphere. Since most (all) pushers only reach those numbers by getting high on their own supply, it is pretty much impossible to hang on to the car…

Totally fair. In my case I live alone so there’s no big time pressure, and each individual room is quite small, so there’s only so much work to be done at a time. Under other circumstances it could easily get exhausting.

Big fan of glass interior doors here! My “master” bath (technically not ensuite but I am fiercely territorial all the same) has a textured glass office door to take advantage of the awesome natural light from the hall. It also has a textured interior window overlooking the back stair because... Why not?

Counterpoint: My bedroom is small but it is just for sleeping. I looove having a separate “productive” space, and a separate “entertainment” space from that. After spending most of my life in studios and 1-beds thinking it was fine since most of my home life involves screens anyway, I was shocked by how refreshing it…

Don’t get me started on the people who paint brick and stone fireplaces. Cover it with blueboard and paint THAT if you absolutely must but... Argh!