Ben Reininga, I love you, will you marry me? (This is a serious proposal, btw.)

At first glance I thought it was Rick Santorum with them in that picture, and got IMMEDIATELY upset, confused, and uncomfortable.

Agreed. I kind of wish Leslie Knope had been sitting on the board.

#1 on my list of work day procrastination techniques is generally, "Check Jezebel every 5 minutes to see if there are any updates." #2 is "Repeat #1 until it's 5:00!" (Almost there!)

If I were allowed to enter the nobility ala Game of Thrones style, I'm pretty sure I'd take on a pair of white breasts/nipples each being tweaked/pleasured by a pair of white hands, all presented to be majestically swimming in a sea of blue, as our house sigil, and our house words would be "AROUSE THYSELF!" in all…

I live in Chicago and don't own a car. I had one when I first arrived here 4 years ago, but it lasted about a week before I said "fuck this" and gave it to my little sister, who arrived to gleefully drive it away before I'd even lived here a month. I was definitely glad to be rid of it.

I didn't realize this was from The Onion at first, but it's still good: http://www.theonion.com/articles/rl-stine-reveals-slappy-from-night-of-the-living-d,5910/

I lived in Orlando back around '07-'08, and they were set to play a show there somewhere around that time, right after their first album made it big. A week or so before the show they also got booked on SNL, I think it was, so they decided to split on the small-time local show and do the big league gig instead. Given…

It seems to be basically the same, here. I've heard multiple people saying they're splitting, heard talk of moving to other sites, creating private FB pages for the forsaken, etc. Hopefully when all the dust settles in a few weeks it won't be as bad as it seems, but, yeah... it definitely won't be good, however you…

Love your user name! It's like so fetch.

When I try to click on the "Page Six" link to read about the Mila Kunis story, it just links me right back to this Jezebel Dirt Bag page, again. Huh.

I laughed out loud at "kindle system," so thank you for that. I've been having a bitch of a time trying to figure this whole thing out tonight. Comments keep showing up in my inbox as new when they're not; I'm not sure if I'm accepting things correctly or if it's even necessary; blah, blah, blah. But, YES, a Lindy +…

This is amazing. Does Jez have a "company policy," of sorts? 'Cause if so, this needs to be added to it, immediately.

WAIT, WHAT? NO.

I have that on my phone, I think, as well, but not on my computer (which is what I mainly use for reading articles, and definitely for commenting, due to screen size, readability, etc.). It would 100% make sense if they would add that feature to the regular site for computer users, though (and would cut out a LOT of…

Hot Pocket Trolls are a thing? What does that even mean?

It's finally about to (maybe?) rain in Chicago again, you guys! Though the sky/clouds earlier today were phenomenal, I am so sick of all this teaser 5 min. storm bullshit. I want a good, long, soaking shower that lasts through the night and puts all this "drought" talk to rest. I want to spend my Saturday splashing…

So ironic that you're the first comment in the ENTIRE thread, based on what you're saying here (on my computer, at least? I'm not sure if it's different for everyone? I'm still confused about so many things).

God, you're right. He's the second best Dirt Bag writer on staff (IMO, not "objectively speaking") and I always loved starting my morning commute with his articles. Ashamed to say I've been so jazzed on Lindy I hadn't even realized he was MIA. I hope he comes back soon!

Agreed! But oh well. Crappy reality television programming can be pretty divisive, apparently. No harm done.