No one had called heads or tails before he tossed it

Tan suit, and mustard choice ring a bell? Fair’s fair

Coins are for the poors

38.8977° N, 77.0365° W

Only old people would download these apps. 

It’s because the horse is smiling. 

Disappointed that break the target is gone

Who gives a shit aboot any of the Jonas Bros anyway?

If you ever think anything you’re working on is ‘too big to fail’, think again and realign your priorities.

Aliens...

“ but is someone paying for his medical bills?”

Have you ever heard of a business closing because they’ve done too much business? Seems shady

What’s so great about the end-times anyway? I think i’d prefer to be alive versus experience the end of the earth. Although sometimes I wonder if it would at least be entertaining. 

It only exists because Ibn Saud relented to FDR under the guise of a military deal.

Why is the US tax payer forced to foot the bill to keep Israel afloat? If they can’t defend themselves then tough shit.

But make sure you count to 3 first, not 4, 2 is too little and 5 is out of the question.

She can meet the Bono....r, in my pants.

Really? A shoot ‘em up version of Robin Hood isn’t any good? Color me surprised. 

Even @ 0.25 speed the movement of those squares showing up is still imperceptible.

We know you secretly watch “Fun with Flags, with Dr. Sheldon Cooper”