Ah, yes, the part where he proposes cutting down our national debt by holding our allies in NATO to a protection racket? BEAUTIFUL, JUST THE MOST BRILLIANT

The ring gear--you mean, the Ass of the Rising Sun pants? The Glitter-Explosive Diarrhea trousers? Sunshine Farts bottoms?

Yeah, they got theirs from Bayley later anyway.

They’ve been so great and then there’s...Nia Jax’s entrance.

Sounds like she really isn’t a sucker for hard luck cases.

Aimée: I love this whole article. Please write everything with as many puns as possible always.

OTOH, think of all the extra layers I can put on while eating this chilled soup ;)

I think he makes her soak for 15 minutes in a bathtub filled with ice water, towels her off, and tells her to stay as still as death and make no noises while he get to business.

“Faith Christian School is committed to ensuring the development of our young men in a manner that shows them the shame in competing with a woman as an equal; we believe it is better they leave a meeting populated with female coworkers rather than listen to their ideas.”

Kristin, I just put flannel sheets on my bed. Why are you talking about chilled soup?

I had a roommate who washed her face with 100% pure Rubbing Alcohol and no kind of moisturizer whatsoever, so....

Samesies.

False.

Hey, DREW, to-be-married Patrick will be of the most help HANDLING HIS OWN FUCKING FAMILY. You know what the worst part of wedding planning was? Navigating the fucking secret code bullshit my almost in-laws spoke. Would have been 11tybillion times easier if my husband had just done all that communicating for me.

Reshoot it with Oscar Isaac and Hayley Atwell, two genies of chemistry, and THEN WE WILL TALK.

Starred for your first-class architectural ascii.

My dad’s crawlspace is a nasty, dark, subterranean mildew-festival, and it’s located in New England. Hell, I’d almost have sex in an attic-loft-crawlspace from sheer relief at it not being a hole in the ground.

I want these kids to make it for many reasons, but this is the best reason.

This story ALWAYS gives me the warm fuzzies when it comes back around because the news was breaking the same day Baby Puss Bucket: the Sequel came into the world. While she was learning to latch, MSNBC was revisiting this every hour on the hour! The miracle of life!

STAR STAR STAR