Probably her punishment for coming in two pounds overweight.

The best part is he’s pointing it out to Michelle but she is all: “Yeah. It’s a cute idea.. *shrug*” while the POTUS is doubled over dying. Such a dad. lol

When I was young our house was broken into and I noticed the intruder hiding under my moms bed by looking in a floor length mirror she had. Guess who’s not a fan of using a bed frame?

So ur with ur honey and yur making out wen the phone rigns. U anser it n the vioce is “wut r u doing wit my daughter?” U tell ur girl n she say “my dad is ded”. THEN WHO WAS PHONE?

No, that’s fine, I never needed to sleep again anyway.

The most interesting person Leo probably dated was gorgeous Rihanna.

Who doesn’t fantasize about being the girl in that movie.

I posted this elsewhere, but this Bush-era Neil Young concert drew the same kind of hilarious right-wing ire:

As a man, I’d like a Quarter-Pounder meal with a Coke, please, and as a man, I’d also like the WiFi password.

The close-to-retirement manager that doesn’t give a shit about anything other than keeping the spotlight off him/her is still worse.

as someone who does all three of those things, I still had horrible skin problems until my 30s as a result of a genetic issue inherited from both sides of my family. and I tried literally everything - it took medicine, regular trips to the dermatologist, and learning the art of make-up actually to give me the…

I know makeup because I love it. So I don’t have to squint to detect a full, complete face of makeup.

Thank you for raising a decent human being. I salute you, and your son.

Sure, a major Baptist university has been systematically silencing and ignoring sexual assaults on campus, but the REAL problem here is that the woman bringing attention to the problem has insufficiently pure motivations.

The problem you have is that this is Harvard. The people that go there are not used to serving anyone at all. The people that go there — legacy, scholarship,and everything in between — are going to be the people that run the country. That program may work for a state school; that’s not going to fly at Harvard.

I’m still significantly obsessed with his first album. It’s so goddamned good. I’m so glad he is seeking help and I hope he’s able to find some peace.

One word... Friday.

You’re underestimating how much his supporters REALLY REALLY want to have brown people know their fucking place again.