Fuck off, man, let us have one god damn nice thing.
mkejen
mkejen
I do not like Kanye West. I think he's a douchebag. His music is alright (I often like songs he is featured in), but he forever lost me with his "I'm the voice of my generation" comment (stfu, you def aren't my voice, bro).
The same reason my fat ass thinks about cake all day.
The real question here is WHY ARE YOU MAKING MY UTERUS HURT, LINDY?!
I really want to get mad about this with you, but I am saving all my rage for the term "baby bump."
I look at baby bumps as private and only to be discussed if the bumped is open to discussing it. Otherwise, people need to stop looking at baby bumps as community property.
She was supposed to recommend a way to deal with strangers who comment on this woman's physical appearance. Those strangers are the problem; not the writer's stomach.
Is that a Nickelback tribute band?
We'll know that we've reached true equality when gays and lesbians feel free to approach their wedding with the same vulgar sense of entitlement and ingratitude that straight people have.
I don't know the context for this picture, and frankly I don't care. I'll never forgive you for causing me to go blind.
"My designer weave is made from Secretariat's tail."
I'm being completely genuine when I ask this, but:
Dude, I went to high school and somehow [miraculous, I know] managed to not rape any of the drunk girls that inevitably populate parties. The girls didn't thank me the next day. Wanna know why? Because we're not supposed to act like goddamn animals.
I'm pretty sure you're listing a lot of "hot girl" things. You don't have to pierce your ears, pluck your eyebrows, wear make up, bleach or tan, or dye your hair to be "acceptable". The amount of things each woman thinks she needs to do to be "Acceptable" vs "Hot" varies from woman to woman, and really only says…
I want someone to pre-taste Pharrell's Qream for me. That sounds so much dirtier than it should.
to the (not) bridesmaid, here's what you do sweety.
Does kinda make ya wonder about the majority of men, eh?
How do terrible people like "you're too fat to be my real friend" find guys willing to marry them? Seriously. All of the truly insufferable women I know are married or in relationships, while so many of the sweetest, funniest women I know struggle to find suitable partners.
Writer #1: You don't have to say WHY you RSVP "No" to any event. You just have to RSVP "No." It's a beautiful thing. If the bride-from-hell asks why, tell her that she made it clear you were not welcome at her wedding. If mutual friends ask, tell them you simply can't go. (And you can't. They don't have to know…