Maybe a goofus and gallant version where you see one group obey, and one group doesn’t, and at the end, the first group is like “why do you guys look so ragged? why are half of you missing. This was not a difficult thing to do. They even gave us rules.”

Right? This just proves to me that filmmakers have never actually had the kind of bullshit job where you can absolutely be fired for not following all the rules, like not twisting people’s arms to sign up for the company credit card - those of us who have would make this a terrible film, since no creepy shit would…

“Thank you for sharing your stories and preserving with us.”

My philosophy:

Hilarious fossils jumping through hoops?

Nobody plans on going to rehab. When you go, you go now.

It’s rude to tell me how to eat my pizza.

Subway has been exceeding my expectations for years. I used to think nothing could be more disgusting than the smell of a Subway restaurant. Then I wound up being forced into eating there and I realized “No. It somehow tastes worse than it smells.” But in the past few months, between the Jared bullshit and this, turns…

Laws to protect civil rights are not “institutionalizing ‘tolerance’”

Those awful LGBTs want rights, but then they’re hypocritically doing normal things like engaging in commerce! I too am appalled!

Episode pitching time!

Seriously, he sounds like he’s running for junior high class president with the amount of ridiculous things he is promising. “I promise, if I win, homework will be optional, tests will be scored by a friend of your choosing, lunches will be catered by Per Se and school will only be three days per week.”

I can’t be the only one who, when someone mentions the 90s, thinks it was only ten years ago. And then I redo the math and am like

Just to make somebody feel better?

YESSS, YES YES! Thank you.

Please win. Because you are the glory.

At least they’re not hundreds of Flemish Giants.

I find the unrelenting passage of time to be alarming as well so I’m going to have to side with the police on this one.

Men are very unlikely to report when a female rapes them, because of the bullshit gender norms placed on women being the weaker sex. In addition, it is easy to publically mock them for being raped by women. I’m not talking jokes, I’m talking actual people. Like when Shia LeBeauf said he was raped at an art show and…