I have a friend who used to manage a Starbucks in LA and she said Paula used to call at least twice a week trying to order Chinese food, so...

Wait until the I.R.S. reads this and tries to “garnish” her wages.

It’s bad enough that they always give me the upside down fries at the drive-thru.

Pro Tip: Avoid the combo with the upside down Coke.

McDonald’s locations in Ontario are out some $5.8 million in free fries

I’ve made exactly the same amount from music as I have from booze.

Yeah, there’s no way he changed when he realized being a hothead was detrimental to his career.

The obvious solution is to tip only in small change.

Nickels are a good choice: 1) the coins are sufficiently hefty to make more noise you drop them into the jar; 2) they are of sufficiently low value that you can maximize the amount of time dropping them slowly into the jar to ensure that the barista will see you,…

Dear Salty,

This is why I always put my tip in the jar when the server is NOT looking. I don’t want them to see. And I always tip $20. Even if it’s just for a cup of coffee. Always. Don’t believe me? Well you’ll just have to take my word for it because no one sees me do it. But really, I am leaving a big fat tip in that jar when…

How long before they create an app for kids to hail a windowless van that offers free candy?

I know this has been pointed out before but; virtually all of us were raised in some way with the message being hammered into us not to get into a random car with a stranger. And now we have an app to do just that.

“I had a guy come in once and asked me for a sample of every IPA we had on tap.”

Every one of his tattoos looks like he got paid on Friday, went out drinking that night, then tossed his last two crumpled twenties on the counter of the dirtiest shop in town and asked “What’ll this get me?”

Unless law enforcement wishes to admit that these devices are actually about revenue generation and not safety...

I drink the most Bulleit Rye. Usually about $40 for 1.75L at Safeway. Very difficult to beat the price.

“We would have also accepted ‘Jack In The Box’ as a correct response”.
Alex Trebek